humor

To Mr. Blot, who went through life an unconscious example of the raison d'être of the British Empire, a shipwreck was merely one of the many things to be ignored. His was a calming influence.

A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.

You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.

We checked our bags and got on line with some of our fellow passengers. Judging from the looks of them, it was clear that they were members of a different income bracket from the people I preferred to surround myself with. But since I also wasn't from the income bracket I preferred, I held off on voicing my initial feelings of despair.

Occasionally, merely for the pleasure of being cruel, we put unoffending Frenchmen on the rack with questions framed in the incomprehensible jargon of their native language, and while they writhed, we impaled them, we peppered them, we scarified them, with their own vile verbs and participles.

Seconds later, the female security officer grabbed a pair of my father's shorts from the top of the duffel bag, and emptied out the contents of his pockets. A lighter, three nail files, a pocket wrench, a pair of pliers, a screwdriver, and a nectarine fell onto the folding table. I looked at the woman, looked at my father, and then looked around to see if anyone else was watching. "What's the problem?" my father asked the woman. "Sir, I'm going to have to take this lighter away from you," she said. "The lighter?" I asked her. "What about the bomb kit he's carrying around? He could do a lot more damage to a person with that wrench." "I need the wrench!" he shrieked. "For what?" "What if something goes wrong with the plane?

My need to parent is so much bigger, sometimes, than my children__ need for parenting.

If you think it's bad now, my friend, wait till we reach a town!' He shook his head and brushed at his tattered, dirty shirtsleeve. 'Do try to remember we're visitors-and not welcome ones-if you should feel moved to reason with anyone.

To do is to be _ AristotleTo be or not to be _ ShakespeareTo be is to do _ Jean-Paul SartreDo be do be do _ Frank Sinatra

I'll pretty much try any cheese, but I have found that I prefer young goats and old cows. I don't like gray areas.

Man, you should write a book.___ know. You couldn__ make this stuff up, could you?

It is the right of a traveller to vent their frustration at every minor inconvenience by writing of it to their friends.

I've never understood people who just go out for one drink. Once I have one drink, I want all the drinks.

Make sure your not followed! Don__ go anywhere

Separating fact and fiction in Inca history is impossible, because virtually all the sources available are Spanish accounts of stories that had already been vetted by the Inca emperors to highlight their own heroic roles. Imagine a history of modern Iraq written by Dick Cheney and based on authorized biographies of Sadam Hussein published in Arabic, and you'll get some idea of what historians face.

It was one of those situations I often find myself in while traveling. Something's said by a stranger I've been randomly thrown into contact with, and I want to say, "Listen. I'm with you on most of this, but before we continue, I need to know who you voted for in the last election.

Leor smiled. __erci, Monsieur Rusé._ __e rien._ Jean replied, and then he checked his watch. __ur flight will be leaving soon. Are you ready for that adventure? Can you brave the terrors of second class?_ Leor laughed. __t depends if I get the window seat.

Veni, vidi, vici. That was easy for Julius Caesar to say; he crossed Italy in a chariot, not on a stupid bike." - Vivia