humor

This is why I keep telling Ash to get you a cat or a bird. Guns aren't proper pets.

I'm a fool.At least i'm a self aware fool.

Dead yet?" Gus answered.I smirked. "Not yet, but the night's still young.""Here's hoping.

You cats mind if I make it a trio?' he asked me, and it was not a huge surprise that a dude of his appearance was speaking in Jazz Voice.

Still, it__ really frustrating me that there doesn__ seem to be anything in my closet that__ appropriate to wear to an exorcism.

An uneventful, quiet life together is more my idea of a romance.___eally? Oh. Well. It won't get you featured in any of the ballads though.___es,_ he said, with a heavy sigh. __nd that will be the great tragedy of my romance.

Are you here for a reason, Cheshire?Why, yes, I would enjoy a cup of tea. I take mine with lots of cream, and no tea. Thank you.

Cross my heart, it's the truth. My Ma consulted a Seer when I was born. He's fated to marry a girl that wears that ring, she said._ __id she now?_ I said. __ell, this is in mad fashion in Mahmonir, so, prepare yourself, you're going to be overburdened with wives once the word gets around!

His hands still on his shoulders. __i,_ he says. __orry._ __or what?_ __or the fact that you are such a big flirt._ He laughs. __ou__e the one in my lap. I was just sitting here minding my own business._ __ust the plane, then?_ __f course._ I try to stand up, but he pulls me back down again. __an, the plane is really bumpy today,_ he says.

Alan: Conning people out of their savings. Forgery. Blackmail. Selling real estate on Mars. We could have it all. You with me, Bambi?"Sin: "Clive, I was with you from 'I'm a social worker.

Who in their right mind counts the tiles on the floor when they go visiting a neighbor?

Librarians are notorious snitches__on__ let anybody convince you otherwise.

For everyone knows that a girl cannot live on chicken cordon blue alone.

Norman picked up a sketch, glanced at it, then put it back down on the table. "I saw Bea Williamson this morning," he said in a low voice. "Lurking about looking for cut glass." "Oh, of course," Mira said with a sigh. "Did she have it with her?" Norman nodded solemnly. "Yep. I swear, I think it's almost gotten ... bigger." Mira shook her head. "Not possible." "I'm serious," Norman said. "It's way big." I kept waiting for someone to expand on this, but since neither of them seemed about to, I asked, "What are you talking about?" They looked at each other. Then, Mira took a breath. "Bea Williamson's baby," she said quietly, as if someone could hear us, "has the biggest head you have ever seen." Norman nodded, seconding this. "A baby?" I said. "A big-headed baby," Mira corrected me. "You should see the cranium on this kid. It's mind-boggling.

A seal the size of Canada attaches to her soul light.

You have to figure that there is something seriously wrong with somebody who wants to enter a profession that deals with whether people are screwing enough. Dealing with spirits, spooks, and demons almost seemed normal.

. __ecause off-duty cops walk around the city wearing sweatshirts advertising they__e cops all the time, never mind it__ a hundred degrees outside. And never mind you look like the youngest cop ever recruited in the history of policing.__e tsks at me. __ave you never seen 21 Jump Street?

I__e always found wildlife very calming-- except when animals are eating each other, of course.