humor-inspirational

Better days are coming! They're called Saturday and Sunday.

The problem with the world is that no one knows how to shit anymore!

I think sometimes people think cheerful is a synonym for dumb, so no one is ever cheerful.

I realized I was officially a professional writer when all my plans began with "drink coffee" and ended with "take a nap.

Please, God,' Ruth would pray, 'don't let me be competitive. Let me realize what a privilege it is to study. Let me remember that knowledge must be pursued for its own sake and please, please stop me wanting to beat Verena Plackett in the exams.'She prayed hard and she meant what she said. But God was busy that autumn as the International Brigade came back, defeated, from Spain, Hitler's bestialities increased, and sparrows everywhere continued to fall.

Don't judge a cat by its coat.

think think think until you blink

Why one human being is attracted to another is one of the great mysteries of the world.

If positivity is not your mindset, then reset

positivity is the father of reinvention

There is a story I always tell my students...when I came for the 1st time to the US. I didn__ speak English (Only Spanish) & I saw on every door the word __xit_ which in Spanish means Success = Exito. And then I said :__o wonder Americans are winners ,every door they open leads to success

But maybe that's one of the important things about America__hat somebody would even ask a nobody like me what America means to her. In America, it matters what you think. You can bet that Hitler's not asking his people what Germany means to them. He's telling them what it means to him, and if it doesn't mean the same thing to them, they get shipped off to prison. Here at least a person has the right to complain and to vote and to complain some more if the fellow they vote for doesn't win.

I think the reason I choose the comic approach so often is because it's harder, therefore affording me the opportunity to show off.

I took a little walk outside for a while. I was surprised that I wasn't feeling what I thought people were supposed to feel under the circumstances. May be I was fooling myself. I wasn't delighted, but I didn't feel terribly upset, perhaps because we had known for a long time that it was going to happen.It's hard to explain. If a Martian(who, we'll imagine never dies except by accident) came to Earth and saw this peculiar race of creatures-these humans who live about seventy or eighty years, knowing that death is going to come--it would look to hi like a terrible problem of psychology to live under those circumstances, knowing that life is only temporary Well, we humans somehow figure out how to live despite this problem: we laugh, we joke, we live.The only difference for me and Arlene was, instead of fifty years, it was five years. It was only a quantitative difference--the psychological problem was just the same. The only way it would have become any different is if we had said to ourselves, "But those other people have it better, because they might live fifty years." But that's crazy. Why make yourself miserable saying things like, "Why do we have such bad luck? What has God done to us? What have we done to deserve this?"--all of which, if you understand reality and take it completely into your heart, are irrelevant and unsolvable. They are just things that nobody can know. Your situation is just an accident of life..We had a hell of good time together...

If there is but one pearl of wisdom I have to impart to you, after all my observations here thus far, it is do not take yourself too seriously. Because when you get here, you might just find that you are not exactly who or what you thought you were.

Love is relative to the moment.

But I've bought a big bat.I'm all ready, you see.Now my troubles are goingTo have trouble with me!

If I had created myself, I would be taller, blond, and more well endowed, financially. I would have cast out spiders and bad-hair days. Therefore, and hence, I believe strongly in a Creator who not only gave me the gift, but the free will to create my own journey through life.