funny-and-random

Dear God, Why don't you ever get inspired by those carmakers who recall defective models? Please be humble, accept that you made and mistake and recall all idiots, criminals, haters, terrorists and replace their defective minds.

In my experience, the romance novels written about BDSM have about as much in common with actual BDSM relationships as a child playing with a jump rope.

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs

I guess it__ worth a shot._ More than likely a wasted bullet, but I__l fire anyway.

What the famous big blue Boy Scout told to a green Kryptonite? What?? YOU rock!

A question that always makes me hazy is it me or are the others crazy'Albert Einstein

He__ close enough now that I can hear his footfall on the pavement, and I knowmy chances of outrunning him are slim. I__ practically in a full sprint, and my pounding heart is begging me to take it down a notch. I try to will my feet to keep pace with its beat; but I think it__ humanly impossible to run that fast. And then it dawns on me that my footsteps are the only ones I hear. Somewhere along the way, Tristan__ must have come to a stop. And I can__ quite explain why I__ running this fast in the first place. I slow to a jog, intending to just pick up with my original pace; but I can__ seem to suck in breaths fast enough to propel my feet any further. My molten shoes stutter to a stop, as my hands come to rest on my knees. I__ stillwheezily sucking in breath after breath of thick, humid air, when I warily turn to look over my shoulder.Tristan__ standing about fifty feet back, hands on his hips and a comp

He__ close enough now that I can hear his footfall on the pavement, and I knowmy chances of outrunning him are slim. I__ practically in a full sprint, and mypounding heart is begging me to take it down a notch. I try to will my feet to keep pace with its beat; but I think it__ humanly impossible to run that fast. And then it dawns on me that my footsteps are the only ones I hear. Somewhere along the way, Tristan__ must have come to a stop. And I can__ quite explain why I__ running this fast in the first place. I slow to a jog, intending to just pick up with my original pace; but I can__ seem to suck in breaths fast enough to propel my feet any further. My molten shoes stutter to a stop, as my hands come to rest on my knees. I__ still wheezily sucking in breath after breath of thick, humid air, when I warily turn tolook over my shoulder.Tristan__ standing about fifty feet back, hands on his hips and a comp

What__ not to love? I made friends with a pretty girl and now we get to plan a castle break in. This beats the day to day kill, eat and survive.

Memory is like a box of chocolates. They disappear quickly.

My childhood was a drag show!

Religion is a totalitarian belief. It is the wish to be a slave. It is the desire that there be an unalterable, unchallengeable, tyrannical authority who can convict you of thought crime while you are asleep, who can subject you to total surveillance around the clock every waking and sleeping minute of your life, before you're born and, even worse and where the real fun begins, after you're dead. A celestial North Korea. Who wants this to be true? Who but a slave desires such a ghastly fate? I've been to North Korea. It has a dead man as its president, Kim Jong-Il is only head of the party and head of the army. He's not head of the state. That office belongs to his deceased father, Kim Il-Sung. It's a necrocracy, a thanatocracy. It's one short of a trinity I might add. The son is the reincarnation of the father. It is the most revolting and utter and absolute and heartless tyranny the human species has ever evolved. But at least you can fucking die and leave North Korea!

Be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says "Oh, no! She's up.

Dont act like you are walking around with a Tshirt that says "I give Up!" on the front and on the back saying "I never started trying!"People can bring you down, situations happen, YOU can feel like Life is the shittiest thing to deal with. BLAH BLAH BLAH..If you're walking through Hell, keep going! Everyday there's a new challenge. Face it! Deal with it! Move on! To every problem there is a solution or a way around it.. Stop being a sour mongral and think life owes you something..No one will do anything for you these days. Start fighting. Get rid of ALL the shit people in your Life. Grow some balls of steel and work progressively through everything. Step by Step or what ever mad method you have to get you back in line again.Who cares, if people don't like you, BURN that mother of a bridge down. It was never meant to be.. Build New ones! Many roads to cross and new paths on life to Explore..It starts with YOU.. And if people want to judge you, tell them to F/O and look in the mirror. Time for a new game.. It's called "Take over the World" WHOOOP WHOOOP!!

Minimalism is a girl's best asset, blend tones, smudge hard outlines; if all else fails; Photoshop it.

Dead people are just great. Meet me when you are.

Holy mama llama. That__ Nathanial Stone. Nathanial Stone is sitting in my booth. Nathanial Stone is in the Finewhile Diner sitting in my booth. I__ supposed to wait on Nathanial Stone. I__ going to make a fool out of myself. I just know it. I can feel it coming. Crap.

Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)" I thinks she's going to break my heart" On arrival of the girl" The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!