boyd

Don't waste your time trying to provide people with proof of deceit, in order to keep their love, win their love or salvage their respect for you. The truth is this: If they care they will go out of their way to learn the truth. If they don't then they really don't value you as a human being. The moment you have to sell people on who you are is the moment you let yourself believe that every good thing you have ever done or accomplished was invisible to the world. And, it is not!

He'd lost the only part of his life that made it worth living because of a couple random fucks. How ridiculous.

For the first time I was beginning to discern a God whom I actually wanted to live for. I was beginning to discover the motivation of Paul when he proclaimed, __hrist__ love compels us_ (2 Cor. 5: 14). All my life I__ tried to be good to avoid hell, or the ugly-stick flogging, or my stepmother__ beatings with a two-by-four. But while most people would undoubtedly be better at behaving well with these frightful motivations than I ever was, no one could ever be transformed by these sorts of motivations. Threatening motivations address behavior, but they can never transform our identity. They motivate people to change as a means of protecting themselves, but for this reason they can never move us beyond ourselves to become someone fundamentally different from who we currently are. And threatening motivations can certainly never transform us into people with an other-oriented, self-sacrificial, loving character. Only a motivation that is anchored in love can do this.

All that mattered was that Boyd was there. He was there for Sin, and when Sin opened his eyes to look at Boyd once more, Sin ignored all the self-doubt and paranoia. Because at that moment he somehow knew that Boyd always would be.

When they were partially up the stairs and mostly out of earshot, Sin looked at Boyd again. 'Don't get killed or I'll be very annoyed with you.

What am I, your wife?' Boyd asked him, highly amused.Sin seemed to consider that for a moment. 'You would need to exchange bodies with my new boss for that. You can be my slave instead.'Boyd could not help a startled laugh at that. 'I don't know if I like the idea of being your slave,' he informed him with one eyebrow arched in challenge. 'The very nature of that relationship would imply I get no compensation and I just can't agree to that.''You get to be in my presence. That should be sufficient compensation.

I had more to say,_ Sin said, still looking frustrated. __ut it doesn__ come out right when I try. I always say the wrong things.__oyd nodded but he was so caught by their proximity, by the green of Sin__ eyes, that at first he struggled with his own words.__t__ alright,_ he said at last. __s long you don__ hate me, it__ enough.___hat is not enough,_ Sin growled. __ot by a goddamn long shot. You just have no idea, Boyd. No fucking clue.___bout what?___verything. Why I acted the way I did_Why I was so pissed off. It will never make any sense to you because I don__ know how to explain.___o try,_ Boyd pressed. __lease.___ don__ know how.

I love you, Hsin," he said hoarsely. "I missed you so much.""I love you, too." Sin's voice was still thick and husky. "I came back for you. Because I wanted to find you, because I wanted to remember you.