boundaries

The truth is, we tend to train people how we want to be treated. If others know you have wishy-washy boundaries then they are free to walk all over you; the results_you become a doormat. We have actually trained others to do this when we will allow people to wipe their muddy feet on us. After all, we are doormats.

Believing in your standards for a square deal, even when there's no way to get it, is what allows you to create boundaries and take independent action.

If you have never questioned set boundaries, or experienced conflict with your family members, you may not have an adult-to-adult connection with your family. If you have no other __est friends_ than your family, you need to take a close look at those relationships. You may be afraid of becoming an autonomous adult.

It is extremely important to be able to make negative assertions. We must be able to say what is __ot me_ in order to have a __e_. What we like has no meaning unless we know what we don__ like. Our yes has no meaning if we never say no. My chosen profession has no passion if __ust anyone would do_. Our opinions and thoughts mean very little if there is nothing we disagree with.

Even with the desire for a better life, we can be reluctant to do the work of boundaries because it will be a war. The battle falls into two categories: outside resistance we get from others and the resistance we get from ourselves.

Boundaries are, in simple terms, the recognition of personal space.

I walked up the stairs and hesitated at the open door.

In the universe, there are things that are known, and things that are unknown, and in between them, there are doors.

There is no boundary between heaven and earth unless we believe in one.

Don__ live a normal life by default, push the boundaries of your potential.

War is not just the shower of bullets and bombs from both sides, it is also the shower of blood and bones on both sides.

A broken soul doesn't invest in boundaries because the world has crossed them, without mercy.

Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.

To enjoy the beauty of the world, don__ try to fit in. Try to fly out of your perceived boundaries.

One must consider that small children are virtually incapable of making much impact on their world. No matter what path taken as achild, survivors grow up believing they should have done something differently.Perhaps there is no greater form ofsurvivor guilt than __ didn't try to stop it." Or __ should have told." The legacy of a helpless, vulnerable, out-of-control, and humiliated child creates an adult who is generally tentative, insecure, and quite angry. The anger is not often expressed, however, as it is not safe to be angry with violent people. Confrontation and con_ct are dif_ult for many survivors.

That all opposites__uch as mass and energy, subject and object, life and death__re so much each other that they are perfectly inseparable, still strikes most of us as hard to believe. But this is only because we accept as real the boundary line between the opposites. It is, recall, the boundaries themselves which create the seeming existence of separate opposites. To put it plainly, to say that "ultimate reality is a unity of opposites" is actually to say that in ultimate reality there are no boundaries. Anywhere.

We can cure the disease of intolerance. We must do it if the world is to survive. No us. No them. Just we.

When you build a wall to protect yourself against one person be warned--everyone is now out there except for you.