active-listening

Becoming an empathetic listener helps you to better understand how another person feels and why they communicate as they do.

Being PresentYears ago, I attended a conference where the keynote speaker encouraged everyone to BE HERE NOW! It grabbed people's attention and reminded us that living, loving, listening, and laughing all occur in the present moment.

When you become an actively engaged listener, you will develop the mindful awareness that active listening involves multiple layers and distinct levels.

If you have ever experienced this type of unprofessional treatment, I doubt you would even consider giving them business in the future. Interrupting, ignoring, patronizing, or antagonizing a customer is like pouring gas on a fire and creates a more explosive situation than the original complaint. Still, it continues to happen every day, costing companies millions in lost revenue.

Your heightened awareness of their perceptions, experiences, emotions, and personality styles can reveal why they feel the way they do so that you can choose your responses wisely and compassionately.

My success with customers on the telephone wasn__ by using pushy sales methods, but by engaging people in meaningful conversations which could lead to friendships on the phone before I ever met them. I would ask questions, listen to their stories, respond to their needs, develop rapport, and earn their business. When we would finally meet in person, it felt less like an introduction and more like a reunion. It was not only good business, we had fun in the process!

Become keenly aware of these three layers to discover whether you're listening with interest and intent for excellent communication and understanding__r are you unintentionally sabotaging potentially phenomenal conversations. Knowledge of the listening planes will raise your awareness. And as you apply these, enjoy the surprising difference.

Through the years, I have heard that the average person speaks at about 150-160 words per minute, but can listen at a rate of about 1,000 words per minute. What is going on during all that extra mind time? _ Our minds are racing ahead and preparing for the next thing we are going to say._ We are preoccupied with other thoughts, priorities, and distractions._ Our subconscious filters are thumbing through our database of memories, judgments, experiences, perspectives, and opinions to frame how we are going to interpret what we think someone is saying.

By your practice of active listening, everyone involved benefits because you . . ._ are more engaged and engaging;_ demonstrate that you are interested in others and what they have to say;_ make others feel important, respected, understood, and appreciated; _ improve your memory and retention;_ affirm to others that you are an authentic, caring, and compassionate person;make a great first and last impression

While active listening is crucial for optimal communication, we are faced with a dilemma which can perplex even the sincerest and engaged of individuals.

UN-Impressives of the Poor Listener_ Thinking about what you should have done, could have done, or need to do. _ Allowing your emotional reactions to take over._ Interrupting the person talking._ Replying before you hear all the facts._ Jumping to conclusions and making assumptions._ Being preoccupied with what you're going to say next. _ Getting defensive or being over-eager. _ One-upmanship__eeling the urge to compete and add something bigger, better, or more significant than what the speaker has to share._ Imposing an unsolicited opinion._ Ignoring and changing the subject altogether.

When my son Nick was five years old, he was sitting at the kitchen bar while I prepared dinner. In typical busy mother fashion, I was multitasking__ooking, cleaning, running the laundry, answering the phone, and attempting to listen to what he had to say.

Active listening requires being fully present and engaged in the moment.

To Become an Attentive Listener . . . _ Observe a person__ physical presence to see how their body language aligns with their message. _ Recognize what is being said on the surface._ Engage your intuition to hear the meaning, purpose, and motivation behind their message. _ Be aware of your own internal responses and how you are feeling._ Put yourself in their shoes to better understand their perspective.

To make matters even more complicated, research has shown that we remember only 25-50 percent of what we hear. This inclination not only compromises our connection with another person, but we can fail to retain vital information. All this evidence demonstrates that it is imperative that we intentionally pay closer attention and strive to become an in-depth listener.

Listening is one of the finest ways to demonstrate our love for another human being. How many marriages could be saved, friendships healed, careers made, and opportunities enjoyed if people would simply stop what they are doing and listen deeply to what another person has to say. If practiced by everyone, this principle could be a world-changer!

Active listening is not only a matter of making yourself available to hear someone talk, but it is showing the sender, physically, that you are receiving and understanding their message on all levels.

For sixteen years, I had a spectacular real estate career in Tallahassee, Florida. I loved receiving telephone inquiries and making cold calls. I knew that if I could meet people on the phone, I could usually turn them into buyers.