Susan C. Young

A simple handshake is not always a simple handshake. The way it is delivered can take on a million meanings and interpretations. As with every other form of body language and non-verbal communication, you are sending silent messages simply by the way you shake hands.

There are times when eye contact can move to the dark side and become creepy, hostile, rude, or condescending. When it is overused or made for the wrong reasons, eye contact can make others feel uncomfortable and leave a terrible impression . . . _ obsessive staring_ mocking_ too much intensity _ inappropriate focus_ averting eyes_ obvious contempt _ gawking, ogling _ casting the "evil eye"_ over-watching_ intimidating_ unwelcome looks_ rolling the eyes

12 Reasons Why People Avoid Eye Contact1. They do not want to reveal their feelings.2. They are not being honest and truthful.3. It makes them feel vulnerable and exposed.4. They are being rude or indifferent.5. They are ashamed or embarrassed to talk about something.6. They are nervous or lacking confidence.7. It makes them feel very uncomfortable.8. They are arrogant, snobby, and pretentious.9. They are afraid of saying the wrong thing or looking stupid.10. They are shy or introverted.11. They are accessing internal thoughts or emotions to process and contemplate information.12. Or as mentioned before, and important to remember, it may simply be a cultural value or behavior.

When you are sitting behind a desk with a person on the other side, there is a barrier between you that becomes a psychological and subliminal message. Some of the best leaders I know have a round table or a circle of chairs in their offices so that when people come in to speak with them, the arrangement lends itself to more engaging interaction. Using a roundtable in which there is no head fosters collaboration, cooperation, mutual respect, and equal positioning.

Welcome" is a word to use often! Leaders who maintain an open-door policy inspire trust, teamwork, and healthier communication. They are more likely to earn respect, gain buy-in, and foster collaboration.

Smiling Bloopers_ Insincere smiling can backfire! (Different from a shy smile that just beckons a friendly "hello.")_ Transitioning from a smile to a straight face, too quickly, may give others the impression that you are fake or do not like them._ Going overboard and smiling all the time, especially when it is inappropriate, will make you appear insincere._ If your mouth smiles, but your eyes don__, there is a disconnect that can make you appear less authentic and trustworthy.

You can shift other people's attitudes by shifting your own. When people project rudeness, impatience, and intolerance they attract the same in return. If someone looks like they are having a difficult day, you can shift their world by simply sharing a kind word.

We are more likely to trust a person who is easier to read; they're easier to believe. Or we tend to think that an energetic and happy person will be more productive. Even traits such as competence, dominance, and courage can be conveyed by certain facial expressions and will stimulate unconscious bias.

Smiling reduces blood pressure by lowering the stress-inducing hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. As my mother, who is now in her eighties, navigates the challenges of aging, her mantra has become, __eep moving and keep smiling._ She has observed the rapid decline of her friends who haven__. She is striving to stay strong, happy, and vital; her desire to smile is helping her to live a healthier, more satisfying, and longer life.

See Your Expressions Through the Eyes of Others. Take the initiative to stand in front of a mirror and practice a wide range of emotions so that you can see what other people are seeing. Video tape yourself and watch your movements and your expressions. You can pick up on clues to what you need to fix and where you could improve your presentation.

A genuine smile is your best fashion accessory and the most important thing you can wear.

Whether you smile to make a great first impression for customer service, building rapport, communicating your intentions, networking, sharing your happiness, closing deals, or demonstrating you are fully present and engaged, smiling is the key to your success.

You can transform your entire physical appearance, personal experience, energy, and social success simply by smiling. And it is also good to do just for you!

What makes one person approachable and another one not? That simple difference alone can make or break your success in your life, in your relationships, and in your career.

The approachable individuals are the first ones that I introduce myself to because they make me feel emotionally safe.

Approachable people . . . 1. Use body language to their advantage.2. Are open-minded to new people and new experiences.3. Encourage others to feel better about themselves.4. Are willing to be told not what they want to hear, but what they need to hear.5. Provide an inviting aura that is warm and comforting.6. Realize that authenticity and transparency earn trust.7. Intuitively tune into the feelings and needs of others.8. Are emotionally steady and respond appropriately when they sense awkwardness or discomfort in others.9. Radiate happiness and curbs cynicism. 10. Provide a safe environment for others to express themselves.11. Make others feel valued and appreciated.12. Listen and consider other people__ viewpoints and opinions.

In 1966, American anthropologist Edward T. Hall specified four distinct distance zones to describe the perception of physical space around us. Understanding these zones and honoring their invisible boundaries will give you a sixth sense about another person__ __pace_ as well as your own.Intimate Zone (less than 2_) __his zone represents our personal space and is reserved for the most trusted and loved people in our lives. Touching, hugging, standing side by side, and engaging in private conversations is common and encouraged. When an interloper violates this personal space, great discomfort and awkwardness can be created. What to do? Take a step back or sideways.Personal Zone (2_-4_) __his is the distance for interaction with good friends, family, social gatherings, or parties. It's an easy and relaxed space for talking, shaking hands, gesturing, laughing and making faces. Social Zone (4_-12') __his zone seems to be an appropriate distance for casual friends, colleagues, and acquaintances to interact. It is the comfortable distance we maintain while interacting or addressing large groups of people.Public Zone (over 12_) __his is the distance we keep from strangers or persons with little acquaintance. It provides the greatest distance between people. This is a safe space that still allows us to experience community and belonging with new people.

At any moment, you can use your face to open doors of opportunity if it demonstrates interest, enthusiasm, respect, understanding, delight, agreement, and more.