Neil Simon

I LOVE living, I have some problems with my LIFE, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far.

Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.

Everyone thinks they can write a play you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life.

Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.

If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.

You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy.

Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending.

There's no such thing as a sure thing. That's why they call it gambling.

Goldie Hawn is funny sexy beautiful talented intelligent warm and consistently sunny. Other than that she doesn't impress me at all.

When its 100 degrees in New York, it's 72 in Los Angeles. When its 30 degrees in New York, in Los Angeles it's still 72. However, there are 6 million interesting people in New York, and only 72 in Los Angeles.

Sure it hurts, but if you love someone, you forgive them." BlancheSomethings you forgive, somethings you never forgive." Kate

[Y]ou're young. Young takes care of everything.