Michelle Hodkin

Your level of neuroses will only find love in a made-for-TV movie.

I have never read The Joy of Crap. Sounds disgusting. I have, however, read The Joy of Sex. Not in a while, but I think it's one of those classics you can come back to again... and again.

I stifled a yawn. "It's too early to be such an asshat, Daniel.

I stifled a yawn. "It's too early to be such an asshat Daniel.

I wish we could make out in your bed."Noah sighed. "As do I, but I'm afraid we have ritual burning to conduct.""It's always something.""Isn't it though?

Asscrown," I muttered under my breath as I headed to my next class. I wasn't proud of swearing at a complete stranger, no. but he started it.Noah matched my pace. "Don't you mean 'assclown'?" He looked amused."No," I said, louder this time. "I mean asscrown. The crown on top of the asshat that covers the asshole of the assclown. The very zenith in the hierarchy of asses," I said, as though I was reading from a dictionary of modern profanity."I guess you nailed me then.

You like them," I realized.Noah's eyebrows lifted in question."Like as people.""As opposed to...furniture?""They're my PARENTS.""That is my understanding, yes.

Have you made any other friends since we've been here?"I gave him the death stare. "Yes, actually.""Who? I want a name.""Jamie Roth.""The Ebola kid? I heard he's a little unstable.""That was one incident.

I planted a kamikaze kiss on Jamie__ cheek.__UCK,_ he shouted, wiping it off. __hat if you killed me!_ He threw a Skittle at my face. It hit my forehead.__w!___aste the rainbow bitch.

You smell good," he whispered into my neck. He was warm against me. Instinctively, I arched back into him and smiled. "Really?" "Mmm-hmm. Delicious. Like bacon.

I hate you," I muttered.Noah smiled wider. "I know.

Noah shifted on the bed, and the oddest crunching sound came underneath him. I looked, really looked, at the bed for the first time."What," I asked slowly, as I eyed the animal crackers strewn all over it, "the hell?""You were convinced they were your pets," Noah said, not even trying to suppress his laughter. "You wouldn't let me touch them.

Is there any point asking what you're going to make me do on Sunday?''Not really.'Okay. 'Is there any point asking what you're going to do to me?'He grinned wickedly. 'Not really.'Fabulous. 'Does it involve the use of a safe word?''That will depend entirely on you.' Noah moved impossibly closer, just inches away. A few freckles disappeared into the scruff on his jaw. 'I'll be gentle,' Noah added. My breath caught in my throat as he looked at me from beneath those lashes, ruining me.I narrowed my eyes at him. 'You're evil.'In response, Noah smiled, and raised his finger to gently tap the tip of my nose. 'And you're mine,' he said, then walked away.

In my rush, I hadn__ tied my shoelaces. Noah was now tying them for me. He looked up at me through his dark fringe of lashes and smiled. The expression on his face melted me completely. I knew I had the goofiest grin plastered on my lips, and didn__ care. __here,_ he said as he finished tying the laces on my left shoe. __ow you won__ fall.__oo late.

Wait," I said as Noah slipped a book from a shelf and headed toward the door. "Where are you going?""To read?"But I don't want you to. "But I need to go home," I said, my eyes meeting his. "My parents are going to kill me.""Taken care of. You're at Sophie's house."I loved Sophie."So I'm...staying here?""Daniel's covering for you."I loved Daniel."Where's Katie?" I asked, trying to sound casual."Eliza's house."I loved Eliza."And your parents?" I asked."Some charity thing."I loved charity."So why are you going to read when I'm right here?

Everyone is a little crazy. The only difference between us and them is that they hide it better.

You could start a fire with the heat between you two.""You're mistaking bitter animosity for heartfelt affection.

This is a love story. Twisted and messy. Flawed and screwed up. But it's ours. It's us. I don't know how our story will end. but I know it will start.