Kate Kerrigan

There are lies in tears. The ones we weep most loudly are usually for ourselves, yet how easily we can pass them off as grief.

Trust is nothing when you have it. It's bread and milk. Basic. There's no glamour, no emotion, no drama - you just trust and that's it. Trusting someone is boring. It's a non-event. But take it away - try living without trust and suddenly your relationship is plunged into a living hellhole.

Reality is just an interpretation. Some people believe only God really knows what's going on: we mortals just make up our own versions of it.

We both grew so used to each other, so comfortable with the naturalness and ease of our friendship, that we became sloppy about keeping our relationship a secret. It was not that we were physically demonstrative or obviously in love, more that it had become impossible for us to hide our close involvement. We had gradually acquired the unmistakable air of old-love: finishing each other's sentences and speaking to each other with an offhand, presuming intimacy that was eventually noticed.

In this way, I was able to place my own concerns aside and curl myself up in the cocoon of somebody else's imagination. My life was suspended - I was in neither one place nor the other.

When the big things in our life start changing, we rely more heavily on small certainties to make us feel secure.

In life loyalty is something that you earn and Doreen had more than earned my loyalty over the years. But marriage is a rogue state with its own rules, and one of them is pledging your loyalty to somebody before you can be fully sure that they deserve it, so you stand their ground. You mess with him? You mess with me. That's the new rule. A husband is instant family. He gets the loyalty of a blood tie without doing any of the work.

If you take goodwill for granted and get sloppy, you might get away with it once or twice, but you won't get away with it for ever. You should always treat the things that treat you good with respect, because otherwise you will suffer for it. More important than that is the fact that it's just the right thing to do.

Everyone is capable of hate, of wanting to hurt, even kill another person. But when those hatreds manifest themselves out of the mind and into real life, a line is crossed. The line between human and animal.

When you are young, feelings are your truth. Love is how you feel. The years have taught me that love is not an emotion that you feel about someone, but what you do for them.