Karen Horney

The declining of responsibility for the self can also be hidden behind a pseudo-objectivity. A patient may make astute observations about himself and give a fairly accurate report of what he dislikes in himself. On the surface it seems as though he is perceptive and honest about himself. But "he" may be merely the intelligent observer of a fellow who is inhibited, fearful, or arrogantly demanding. Hence, since he is not responsible for the fellow he observes, the hurt to his pride is cushioned__ll the moreso because the flashlight of his pride is focused on his faculty for keen observations.

A perfectly normal person is rare in our civilization.

To find a mountain path all by oneself gives a greater feeling of strength than to take a path that is shown.

Also the natural sexual functions of establishing an intimate human contact frequently assume greater proportions. This is a well known fact about detached people for whom sexuality may be the only bridge to others, but it is not restricted to being an obvious substitute for human closeness. It shows also in the haste with which people may rush into sexual relations, without giving themselves a chance to find out whether they have anything in common or a chance to develop a liking and understanding. It is possible of course that an emotional relatedness may evolve later on. But more often than not it does not do so because usually the initial rush itself is a sign of their being too inhibited to develop a good human relationship.

The fact that compulsive drives for success will arise only in a competitive culture does not make them any less neurotic.

Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.

Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.

When one begins, as I did, to analyze men after a fairly long experience of analyzing women, one receives a most surprising impression of the intensity of this envy of pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood, as well as of breasts and of the act of suckling.

Like all sciences and all valuations, the psychology of women has hitherto been considered only from the point of view of men.

If you want to be proud of yourself, then do things in which you can take pride

There is no good reason why we should not develop and change until the last day we live.

The most comprehensive formulation of therapeutic goals is the striving for wholeheartedness: to be without pretense to be emotionally sincere to be able to put the whole of oneself into one's feelings one's work one's beliefs.

Concern should drive us into action not into a depression.

For the analyst it is a source of never-ending astonishment how comparatively well a person can function with the core of himself not participating.

It is naturally a sign of inner liberation when a patient can squarely recognize his difficulties and take them with a grain of humor. But some patients at the beginning of analysis make incessant jokes about themselves, or exaggerate their difficulties in so dramatic a way that they will appear funny, while they are at the same time absurdly sensitive to any criticism. In these instances humor is used to take the sting out of an otherwise unbearable shame.

The pride in intellect, or rather in the supremacy of the mind, is not restricted to those engaged in intellectual pursuits but is a regular occurrence in all neurosis.

Pride in many diverse ways is the enemy of love.

Whether we forget something we are not proud of, or embellish it, or blame somebody else, we want to save face by not owning up to shortcomings.