Jane Wagner

My space chums think reality was once a primitive method of crowd control that got out of hand. In my view, it__ absurdity dressed up in a three-piece business suit.

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.

I personally believe we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.

Did I tell you what happened at the play? We were at the back of the theatre, standing there in the dark, when all of a sudden I feel one of 'em tug at my sleeve, whispers, "Trudy look!" I said, "Yeah, goosebumps. You definitely got goosebumps. You like the play that much?" They said it wasn't the play that gave 'em goosebumps, it was the audience!I'd forgot to tell them to watch the play; they'd been watching the audience! Yeah, to see a group of people sitting together in the dark, laughing and crying at the same things...well that just knocked 'em out! They said, "Trudy, the play was soup, the audience, art."So they're taking goosbumps back with 'em into space. Goosebumps! Quite a souvenir. I like to think of them out there in the dark, watching us. Sometimes we'll do something and they'll laugh. Sometimes we'll do something and they'll cry. And maybe, one day we'll do something so magnificent, the whole universe will get goosebumps.

A sobering thought: what if right at this very moment I am living up to my full potential?

Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death. -General Omar N. Bradley This morning I threw up at a board meeting. I was sure the cat was out of the bag but no one seemed to think anything about it apparently it's quite common for people to throw up at board meetings.

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.