Fran Lebowitz

London: A place you go to get bronchitis.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he is buying.

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death.

I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility.

People have been cooking and eating for thousands of years, so if you are the very first to have thought of adding lime juice to scalloped potatoes try to understand there must be a reason for this.

My favorite animal is steak.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.