Bauvard

Pure joy is rare. That__ why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

Bragging about your compassion is the first step towards feeling a genuine emotion.

Men only treat women like princesses when they want to use them like prostitutes.

We live in one of the few epochs of humanity where life isn't just a painful cycle of toil, fatigue, and collapse. Now pleasure gyrates us through those stages.

Experience: the vehicle of history. Teenagers: the driving force behind fatal accidents.

The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.

The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.

Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates.

I lacked the knowledge of linear perspective needed to get into the art school, so now I whitewash walls and imagine I__ heaven__ landscape painter.

I shed a tear when I meet somebody who always quits. Reliable people are so rare in this world.

I love the smell of a new book, but I prefer inhaling fresh bottles of ink and glue. They get me more lightheaded _ unless I read the book.

Political debate: when charlatans come together to discuss their principles.

Careers are not made in a family business, they are born _ by patricide. Then they die from neglect, and avoid the tragedy of being put out of business.

If you want more development in your relationship, move to an urban area.

Some people won't have kids, but I__ not going to have parents. I__ burning their birth certificates and defacing their gravestones tonight.

Treat each other like human beings? But the other great apes have no class hierarchy.

I get a lot of big ideas, and occasionally I actually come up with one myself.

Trees are corrupting our parks. They should be arrested for loitering. For deciduous trees, add littering and indecent exposure to that list of offenses.