A. Merc Rustad

How to tell your pretend-boyfriend and his real boyfriend that your internal processors are failing:1. The biological term is depression, but you don't have an official diagnostic (diagnosis) and it's a hard word to say. It feels heavy and stings your mouth. Like when you tried to eat a battery when you were small and your parents got upset.2. Instead, you try to hide the feeling. But the dark stain has already spilled across your hardwiring and clogged your processor. You don't have access to any working help files to fix this. Tech support is unavailable for your model. (No extended warranty exists.)3. Pretend the reason you have no energy is because you're sick with a generic bug.4. You have time to sleep. Your job is canceling out many of your functions; robots can perform cleaning and maintenance in hotels for much better wage investment, and since you are not (yet) a robot, you know you will be replaced soon.5. The literal translation of the word depression: you are broken and devalued and have no further use.6. No one refurbishes broken robots.7. Please self-terminate.

You sit beside the sorcerer, your love, and unzip your ribs. Tucked under your heart is a small oak box, plain and unvarnished. You offer it to the sorcerer. 'I brought this for you.

Eleven reasons you want to become a robot: 1. Robots are logical and know their purpose.2. Robots have programming they understand.3. Robots are not held to unattainable standards and then criticized when they fail.4. Robots are not crippled by emotions they don't know how to process.5. Robots are not judged based on what sex organs they were born with.6. Robots have mechanical bodies that are strong and durable. They are not required to have sex.7. Robots do not feel guilt (about existing, about failing, about being something other than expected).8. Robots can multitask.9. Robots do not feel unsafe all the time.10. Robots are perfect machines that are capable and functional and can be fixed if something breaks.11. Robots are happy.