My mother used to say not sleeping was the sign of a guilty mind. It could have been. There was a lot in my mind to feel guilty about. When you__e drunk and trying to sleep, your thoughts are visited by the ghosts of those deeds whose heat still glows hottest in your personal darkness. Our actions burn much longer than the moments in which they occur. And drunks like me, we hide from the glow of the embers by fueling other fires and hiding within the flames.
..the thing about depression. When I feel it deeply, I don__ want to let it go. Itbecomes a comfort. I want to cloak myself under its heavy weight and breathe it into my lungs. I wantto nurture it, grow it, cultivate it. It__ mine. I want to check out with it, drift asleep wrapped in itsarms and not wake up for a long, long time.
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..the thing about depression. When I feel it deeply, I don__ want to let it go. Itbecomes a comfort. I want to cloak myself under its heavy weight and breathe it into my lungs. I wantto nurture it, grow it, cultivate it. It__ mine. I want to check out with it, drift asleep wrapped in itsarms and not wake up for a long, long time.
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When I take a break, even just a brief one, the creative energy flows in. Only then do I have anything of value to share with others. Once I recognized this, I stopped feeling guilty about taking time for myself.
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I laugh, and it sounds like I've been sucking helium.
Don't allow your mind to tell your heart what to do. The mind gives up easily
We're enveloped in pitch black. "Wait here," I whisper."Are you getting your ax?""Handcuffs.""Kinky. But, okay, I'll try it.