twilight-parody

I don__ sell spells, and I don__ sell tricks. I don__ carry illusions or marked cards or weighted coins. I cannot sell you an endless purse or help you win the lottery. I can__ make that girl you__e got your eye on fall in love with you, and I wouldn__ do it even if I could. I don__ have a psychic hotline to your dead relatives, I don__ know if you__e going to be successful in your career, and I don__ know when you__e going to get married. I can__ get you into Hogwarts or any other kind of magic school, and if you even mention those stupid sparkly vampires I will do something unpleasant to you.

I want to leave all my friends and the sunlight for a small, rainy town.

I learned that it's okay to feel the way I do: that my life has no meaning unless I have a boyfriend. A real man is like the perfect vampire-boy and all the perfect guys in Twue Wuv.