trigger-warning

The universe is amply supplied with night.

I am sorry.I'm sorry that I feel as if you don't trust me enough to confide me. This is me being selfish even though this isn't about me, it's about you. I'm sorry that it makes me upset that in those times you thought about ending your life, I feel like I didn't cross your mind. I hate myself for thinking you didn't care enough to talk to me about those toxic thoughts that's trying to push you to end everything, because I know myself that's it is hard to share.I hate myself for thinking you didn't care enough to think about how horrible it is going to be for me once I learn what you've done.I'm sorry for feeling like this, it is selfish, I am selfish.I'm sorry for feeling like I'm not a good friend, I know that's now how you think, I'm sorry.I just love you and I'm hurt.

I think repressing what happened is what saved me in my childhood. I was able to use my imagination to create happy events, but a little girl can carry only so much on her own.

When I felt as though I had reached land, it was like I was on a deserted sandy beach, feeling isolated and afraid to share with anyone the memories that haunted me.

The idea that you have to be protected from any kind of uncomfortable emotion is what I absolutely do not subscribe to.

Those who make conversations impossible, make escalation inevitable.

My goal in going public was not to put my extended family to shame, or to get back at Brian for abusing my sister and me; rather, my mission was to give a face and voice to an epidemic that society stays hushed about.

She was so upset about a blog that maybe a total of six people read yet had no compassion for her granddaughters who had suffered the physical and emotional pains of sexual abuse and whose lives were changed forever. The two cannot even be compared, yet when someone is in denial about what happened, they cannot perceive what is true. It seemed too hard for her to let her mind go there and believe her grandson could do such terrible things.

The lovelorn came, too. The alone. The lunatics-they were brought here, sometimes. Got their name from the moon, it was only fair the moon had a chance to fix things.

I felt like I needed to comfort both the little girl inside me and my mother, assuring them that neither of them could have prevented the rape. I didn't want my mother to blame herself and I didn't want to blame the little girl inside of me for not speaking up at the age of six.