9-11-01

I had no idea if the photos [of Osama bin Laden's dead body] would ever be made public, and I didn't care.

9/11/01Gina:Especially today, with the enormity of current events, I want to convey to you again, how much you mean to me and how proud I am to be your husband. The hard work that you are engaged in right now is exhausting, invisible and largely thankless in the short term. But honey, please know that buried at the core of this tedium is the most noble and important work in the world- God's work; the fruits of which you and I will be lucky enough to enjoy as we grow old together. Watching these little guys grow into men is a privilege that I am proud to share with you, and the perfect fulfillment of our marriage bonds. You are a great mom. You are a great wife. You are my best friend. You are very pretty. Happy Birthday. -Matt

I felt so much pride, so much love. You get a handful of days like this in a lifetime. Take in every minute. They__l be over soon enough, and you never know what tomorrow will bring.

This is my worst fear. It__ not keeping my students safe from terrorists, it__ knowing what to do when the Chaplain comes to take Johnny out of class because not letting the terrorists win means sometimes the good guys are going to die. And those good guys have kids, and they__e sitting in my classroom.

It__ hard to describe being an expatriate of sorts to people who__e never lived overseas, but when you__e an American living in a geographically separated region within a country like Korea, you form bonds with people who you__ never associate with stateside.

The only thing worse than his arrogance was his incompetence. He was a bully, behaving like an ass. I saw Angel though, not him. The memorial was right there, just outside the window. It__ in the flowers, and it makes me angry. Angel liked to sit on the couch, watch TV, eat chips. She hated outside. Maybe I should have been a bully and an ass to Angel__ parents. Maybe Angel and Grace would still be alive if I__ behaved like this piece of shit teacher.

It felt like we were reliving the first day of the school year, when students and teachers do the get-to-know-you dance__eachers tell students something about who they are, students pretend to care, and then vice-versa.

It was too late to pray, though. The sky was clear. The helicopters were gone. Too late for so many things. My fists hit the floor. My head hit the floor. My heart broke, hardened, and I lost my faith. That__ when the killing thoughts came. When it felt right to punish everyone who let this happen. I could start with Angel__ dad__ut where would it stop?

I felt like I should salute. If only I knew how.

I__ clinging to one last thought: pain is the harbinger of hope. You have to be alive to feel pain. If you are alive, then you have purpose. If you have purpose, then you have hope.

I have a foreboding of an America in my children's or grandchildren's time -- when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what's true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness...The dumbing down of American is most evident in the slow decay of substantive content in the enormously influential media, the 30 second sound bites (now down to 10 seconds or less), lowest common denominator programming, credulous presentations on pseudoscience and superstition, but especially a kind of celebration of ignorance