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stop

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And then I realize: this isn__ dirty water falling from the sky.It is__iterally__lood.I look up, and a droplet of blood splashes directly into my eye. I curse, rubbing my face, trying to get the blood out, but it__ everywhere, it__ like trying to dry off in the middle of the ocean. Shielding my face as best I can, I stare up into the sky.I am in the center of a cyclone.Giant white clouds swirl like a spiraling galaxy above me, the eye a tiny dark speck. The storm rages, throwing out bloody rain like punches, the wind so vicious it tears my clothes and cuts my skin.Representative Belles__ mind is swirling with dark thoughts__loody thoughts__nd they have created the biggest storm I have ever seen.I have to stop the cyclone. I have to get him into a peaceful reverie, something that he can hold on to while I root around his brain, looking for answers.I focus all of my concentration on stopping the bloody rain. The drops come slower and slower. I take a deep breath, imagining the clouds breaking up, spinning into fluffy bits of cotton-candy like clouds. I don__ open my eyes until the sounds of beating rain disappear and I can feel the warmth of the Mediterranean sun on my face.

"

If you leave without me, I__l just follow you. You can__ stop me, Cassie. How are you going to stop me?__ shrug helplessly, fighting back tears. __hoot you, I guess.___ike you shot the Crucifix Soldier?__he words hit me like a bullet between the shoulder blades. I whirl around and fling open the door. He flinches, but stands his ground.__ow do you know about him?_ Of course, there__ only one way he could know. __ou read my diary.___ didn__ think you were going to live.___orry to disappoint you.___ guess I wanted to know what happened____ou__e lucky I left the gun downstairs or I would shoot you right now. Do you know how creepy that makes me feel, knowing you read that? How much did you read?__e lowers his eyes. A warm red blush spreads across his cheeks.__ou read all of it, didn__ you?_ I__ totally embarrassed. I feel violated and ashamed. It__ ten times worse than when I first woke up in Val__ bed and realized he had seen me naked. That was just my body. This was my soul.I punch him in the stomach. There__ no give at all; it__ like I hit a slab of concrete.__ can__ believe you,_ I shout. __ou sat there__ust sat there__hile I lied about Ben Parish. You knew the truth and you just sat there and let me lie!

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Daddy?_____ right here, baby.__umps form in my throat, going all the way down into the core of me.It__ his voice. His. Right there. I reach toward the doorknob but I don__ get to turn it.Nick smashes at me with his head, pushing against my lower jaw and cheek, like a blow. His muzzle moves my head away from the door. He presses his face in between me and the wood. Fur gets in my mouth. I spit it out and push at him.__hat__ my dad. My dad._ I slap the door. __e__ on the other side. The pixies will get him.__ick shows me his teeth.__ can__ lose him again, Nick.__he wolf snarls like he__ ready to bite. My head jerks back and away, but then I steady myself.__et . . . out . . . of . . . the . . . way.__ushing against his thick neck, I slam my hands against him over and over again, pummeling him. He doesn__ budge.__ove!_ I order. __ove.___ara, is there a wolf in there with you? Do not trust him,_ my dad__ voice says, calmly, really calmly.I grab a fistful of fur and freeze. All at once it hits me that something is not right. My dad would never be calm if I was in my bedroom with a wolf. He__ be stressed and screaming, breaking the door down, kicking it in like he did once when I was really little and had accidentally locked myself in the bathroom and couldn__ get the lock out of the bolt because it was so old. He__ kicked that door down, splintering the wood, clutching me to him. He__ kissed my forehead over and over again.____ never let anything happen to you, princess,_ he__ said. __ou__e my baby.__y dad would be kicking the door in. My dad would be saving me.__et me in,_ he says. __ara . . .__etting go of Nick, I stagger backward. My hands fly up to my mouth, covering it.Nick stops snarling at me and wags his fluffy tail.How would my dad know that it is a wolf in here and not a dog? How would he know that it isn__ pixies?I shudder. Nick pounds next to me, pressing his side against my legs. I drop my hands and plunge my fingers into his fur, burying them there, looking for something. Maybe comfort. Maybe warmth. Maybe strength. Maybe all three.

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Alex, please.__e balls his fists. __top saying my name. You don__ know me anymore.___ do know you._ I__ still crying, swallowing back spasms in my throat, struggling to breathe. This is a nightmare and I will wake up. This is a monster-story, and he has come back to me a terror-creation, patched together, broken and hateful, and I will wake up and he will be here, and whole, and mine again. I find his hands, lace my fingers through his even as he tries to pull away. __t__ me, Alex. Lena. Your Lena. Remember? Remember 37 Brooks, and the blanket we used to keep in the backyard____on__,_ he says. His voice breaks on the word.__nd I always beat you in Scrabble,_ I say. I have to keep talking, and keep him here, and make him remember. __ecause you always let me win. And remember how we had a picnic one time, and the only thing we could find from the store was canned spaghetti and some green beans? And you said to mix them____on__.___nd we did, and it wasn__ bad. We ate the whole stupid can, we were so hungry. And when it started to get dark you pointed to the sky, and told me there was a star for every thing you loved about me._ I__ gasping, feeling as though I am about to drown; I__ reaching for him blindly, grabbing at his collar.__top._ He grabs my shoulders. His face is an inch from mine but unrecognizable: a gross, contorted mask. __ust stop. No more. It__ done, okay? That__ all done now.___lex, please____top!_ His voice rings out sharply, hard as a slap. He releases me and I stumble backward. __lex is dead, do you hear me? All of that__hat we felt, what it meant__hat__ done now, okay? Buried. Blown away.___lex!__e has started to turn away; now he whirls around. The moon lights him stark white and furious, a camera image, two-dimensional, gripped by the flash. __ don__ love you, Lena. Do you hear me? I never loved you.__he air goes. Everything goes. __ don__ believe you._ I__ crying so hard, I can hardly speak.He takes one step toward me. And now I don__ recognize him at all. He has transformed entirely, turned into a stranger. __t was a lie. Okay? It was all a lie. Craziness, like they always said. Just forget about it. Forget it ever happened.___lease._ I don__ know how I stay on my feet, why I don__ shatter into dust right there, why my heart keeps beating when I want it so badly to stop. __lease don__ do this, Alex.___top saying my name.