std

Globally, millions of married men and women engage the servicesof sex workers each year. Despite growing health concerns aboutthe increased risk of STDs and HIV AIDS this trade continues toblossom, leading to the premature termination of several lives andthe dissolution of several marriages.

When I travel, I get lovesick. Well, they call it chlamydia.

AIDS would have claimed fewer lives if we had publicly recommended what I wish to call __he Presumption of Sickness,_ i.e., the principle that whomever we are about to sleep with is HIV-positive until proven HIV-negative.

Some women would not have contracted an STD or STDs had they not been on the pill.

Viagra, Valtrex, Valium... you fuck enough strangers, you're taking a blue pill with a "V" on it.

She says, "Do you have any rubbers?" I say, I thought she was barren. "Sure, I'm sterile," she says, "but I've had unprotected sex with a million guys. I could have some terrible fatal disease." I say that would only be a problem if I wanted to live a lot longer. Fertility says, " That's how I feel about my giant credit card debt." So we have sex. If you could call it that.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck chlamydia?

There, alone in the sterile room, sitting on a pink vinyl chair that boasts many cracks in its once nice upholster, you wait. You think to yourself , who would have thought I would be ringing in the New Year by urinating into a cup to see if I have chlamydia?

Harpies, n. A disease transmitted to humans by birds with human faces.

Some people have contracted HIV during their separate endeavours to give someone or some people a curable STD.