sexy-humor

Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

I__ going to make you feel so good,_ I swore to her, __hat you__e going to not just scream my name, but forget yours.

You love that, don't you?" I growled. "Being hammered by my cock... you must think you're in... fucking... heaven."Punctuation by cock thrust - the very best kind.

My sub doesn't pay for me,_ he says, pulling me to my feet. __hat just doesn't happen.___ut we ordered so much,_ I say helpl

I don__ know what came over me.__harlie smiled. He drew her to him and kissed her. __e,_ he said.

The best laid plans may not get you laid the way you planned.

Her insides began to roar with a ferocious explosion of sensation and entitlement. For a moment, her thinking mind know this was what male and females were put on earth to do.

It's funny, this - so many words to describe the same thing,_ she smiled...__enis is simply an anatomical appendage, as exciting as a finger or a phalange. A willy is something small and flaccid, and at least slightly humorous. Prick is the organ as viewed with distaste, perhaps with so much as to describe the entire body it__ attached to, like a dick, but more so. Phallus is a symbol of fertility, but my favourite...is the cock, which is only ever the hard, real thing, unleashed and ready to dive head-first into any waiting orifice. Or hole, while I__ in thesaurus mode.

Nineteen ninety-eight was a banner year for Connie. She was separately invited by two male former college friends to participate in an ménage _ trois with them and their wives, despite her overbite and diminutive breasts.

Mr. Montgomery pushes the envelope. It's everything we shouldn't do, yet, he makes us want to, anyway.

With Mr. Montgomery, I set out to see what it would be like to write a novel in 30 days. It was hell! I'd do it again in a minute.

I want you in every way possible and in ways you__e probably never even imagined. Your saving grace is I don__ sleep with vamps. If things were different we wouldn__ be talking and you__ be enjoying the hell out of where this could be going._ - Lexan, The Way You Bite

When you f*** a Vampire, you get a free hat.

Mmmm I like the sounds you're making," he murmured in a honeyed whisper. "I just bet that you're a screamer. Should I have brought earplugs?Kurt Nielsen

Gabby couldn't believe what he had just said. Her mouth gaped open and a flirty smile came over her. She slowly peeled her half wet white t-shirt over her head and then slowly shimmied out of her shorts. What had gotten into her? She had never acted like this before, but she suddenly felt playful, fun and daring. If he wanted to play, so could she.

It was masturbation, not willpower, that made it possible for gazillions of women to walk down the aisle with their reputation and their hymen still intact.

Coco Chanel is said to have said that a girl should be two things: who and what she is. I say a girl should do two things: what and who she wants.

The primary goal of a righteous parent who has a daughter is to minimize the number of boys and men for whom their daughter will have willingly opened her legs come her wedding day; the closer to zero, the more righteous they will seem.