redneck

Finally, we entered Chetaube County, my imaginary birthplace, where the names of the little winding roads and minuscule mountain communities never failed to inspire me: Yardscrabble, Big Log, Upper, Middle and Lower Pigsty, Chicken Scratch, Cooterville, Felchville, Dust Rag, Dough Bag, Uranus Ridge, Big Bottom, Hooter Holler, Quickskillet, Buck Wallow, Possum Strut ... We always say a picture speaks a thousand words, but isn__ the opposite equally true?

Whenever I__ get howlin_ over something, he__ grab my ass up from wherever I was and head straight for the john. Momma said my head would get banged up along the way, but she said itwas probably bein_ dunked under water that made me stupid.

I believe a family just isn__ complete without skeletons. My dearest momma clean bit off my daddy__ nose right around the time they divorced.

Southern girls are God's gift to the entire male population. There is absolutely no woman finer than one raised below the mason-dixon line and once you go southern may the good Lord help you - you never go back

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

How many of you were born in Oklahoma? Yeah, never raise your hand to a question like that again. We__e the mecca of beer-drinkin_ rednecks.

You think all I can do is frog legs? I got Legs on my mind, alright, but yours. I__l do whatever it takes the save the ass on top of __m and everything else, you hear me?

Well, fella, as much as I__ like to stick something up your ass, it ain__ gonna be my finger or anything else on my body__orry to disappoint.

Get in here and make me some dinner__ow, woman.""News flash, Michael, you're supposed to be evil, not redneck!

True, beneath the human façade, I was an interloper, an alien whose ship had crashed beyond hope of repair in the backwoods of Southern Appalachia__ut at least I__ learned to walk and talk enough like the locals to be rejected as one of their own.