professions

An actor's a guy who if you ain't talking about him ain't listening.

Vice president: That's the title given to a corporate manager instead of a raise.

The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid stable business.

Few great men could pass personnel.

I don't like the fact that doctors are referred to as practicing.

A secretary must think like a man act like a lady look like a girl - and work like a dog.

I never liked being a salesman. . . . Ever since I got my first two orders: Get out! and Stay out!

My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him.

Downsizing means you're about to become the guest of honor at a going-away party.

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is very important.

The celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there I go to work.

I once worked as a salesman and was very independent. I took orders from no one.

She used to be a schoolteacher but she has no class now.

Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

Experience is the one thing you have plenty of when you're too old to get the job.

If law school is so hard to get through how come there are so many lawyers?