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Anna, you miss him._ __ll the time. I still can__ believe he__ gone._ The words come out in a whoosh, tasting funny in my mouth. No matter how many times I say them, they still feel like a garbled, impossible language. My chest hurts, and I have to hold my breath to keep from inhaling a deep sob. __e was more than your best friend._ I nod absently, forgetting myself for a moment, forgetting that I__ talking to Jayne and not my journal. __ _ I mean, he was like a brother to me. You know, like Frankie. Well, she__ the sister. I mean__ Jayne reaches for my hands across the table, shaking her head softly. __weetheart, when you say Matt__ name, you have the same look in your eyes that he__ get whenever he__ say yours.

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Isn't it strange??When you don't have something you want more and more even when you see it on the TV for example the the drug from the Limitless... you want it don't ya??A drug which makes your the smartest person on the earth... A drug which helps you understand fast everything... you can read in about 1500 books in a year... isn't it crazy... it will be awesome to have this drug... but it's not possible unfortunately... as for now...let's go in the real world shall we?What happens when you want something... let's take it that you get it... you want more and more and more... when you have from something which is like candy like 1000 in one place... somehow a limit comes... it comes the moment when you can't eat anymore - Isn't it interesting this fact?

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I'm willing to find out what this thing is going on between us. Are you?""If we weren't outside," he says, "I'd show you--"I cut him off by grabbing the thick hair at the base of his neck and pulling that gorgeous head of his down. If we can't exactly have privacy right now, I'll settle for being real. Besides, everyone who we need to keep this a secret from is in school.Alex keeps his hands at his side, but when I part my lips, he groans against my mouth and his wrench drops to the ground with a loud clink.His strong hands wrap around me, making me feel protected. His velvet tongue mingles with mine, creating an unfamiliar melting sensation deep within my body. This is more than making out, it's . . . well, it feels like a lot more.His hands never stop moving; one circles my back while the other plays with my hair.Alex isn't the only one exploring. My hands are roving all over him, feeling his muscles tense beneath my hands and heightening my awareness of him. I touch his jaw and the roughness of a day's growth scratches my skin

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I invited him over and he stayed forever. I feed him all my bread, the old peppers turned to mush & fluorescent mold, the chicken thighs unthawed & boneless. He ask for more so I give him my left leg. He ask for more & I give him my lungs & lips. More still, and there goes my bladder. He eats it all, all of me, eats the whole damn house, & I live forever in him or maybe it's the other way around. I swallowed. I swallowed him whole & didn't even notice him thrashing inside me.