looks

To be a well-favoured man is the gift of fortune but to write and read comes by nature.

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

His toupee makes him look twenty years sillier.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want an adorable pancreas?

He has more chins than a Chinese phone book.

What a man enjoys about a woman's clothes are his fantasies of how she would look without them.

It's not wrinkles. I just have too much skin for the size of my face.

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.

Her figure is harder to ignore than a ringing telephone.

The only thing that can stop hair from falling ... is the floor.

I've put on a lot of weight... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb . . . and I also know that I'm not blonde.

I look just like the girl next door ... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park.

I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair but he says he's charging me for finding it.

They say tall people live a lot longer than short people. No they don't. They're just so irritating it seems they are around a lot longer.

The most delightful advantage of being bald one can hear the snowflakes.

It's good to know that there's a fine line between an "outfit" and a "getup."

A big advantage of being bald is that you can style your hair with a damp cloth.