kahlen

Books were a safe place, a world apart from my own. No matter what had happened that day, that year, there was always a story in which someone overcame their darkest hour. I wasn't alone.

I finally made eye contact with the boy in the bed. He lay on his side, a tube in his nose and another in his vein. His cheeks were sunken, and his skin was ghostly pale. His hair might have been blond, but it was fading into a gray, making it hard to tell. The only part of this boy that held any life at all were his eyes, which brimmed with tears when he saw me.__ahlen?__ sat still. These three people all called me by the same name, which sounded sort of like Katlyn and Ellen and made me believe that maybe they actually knew me.__here did you go? Where have you been? I thought you were dead._ His chest worked overtime, trying to keep up with his mouth, spilling over with words.__an you get her a pen? Please?_ He lifted an arm weakly. It was all bone. __ just need to know.___ pen?_ I asked.Once again his eyes lit up.__ou can talk?__ stared at this boy, at how he was overjoyed at one of the most basic things a person could do. __o it would seem._ I smiled.He flopped onto his back, laughing from his gut, and based on Julie__ tears, I was guessing she__ been waiting a long time for that to come back.

I looked at him and the other two people whose names I__ just learned. __o . . . so this is home then?__kinli looked at me, perplexed, then turned to Ben and Julie.__he said some girls left her here and told her it was home. That__ all she knows. She doesn__ even know you._ Julie wiped at her tears, trying to calm herself.He moved his eyes back to me as quickly as he could manage. __ahlen? You remember me, right?__ stared into this face, searching for something familiar. I didn__ recognize the angle of his chin, the length of his fingers. I didn__ know the slope of his shoulder or the shape of his lips.__kinli, right?_ I asked. This poor boy. I pitied him in the depths of my heart. Clearly, he__ already been going through something, and I could see the last scrap of fight he had in him dying with those words.__es.___ don__ remember ever seeing you before in my life. I__ sorry.__e pressed his lips together as if he was swallowing the urge to cry.__ut,_ I said, __ know your voice. I know it as if it were my own.

When we__ all settled down from that first night, Julie found a bag on the porch, which we thought must have been left by the same three girls who had brought me to them. Just like the clues on my skin, I__ only been left with two worldly possessions. The first was a wad of cash that I immediately handed to Ben and Julie as compensation for giving me a home. Most of it went to pay for Akinli__ medical bills, which was fine with me. I didn__ know if there was a word bigger than soul mates, something that meant the feeling of being so connected that it was hard to tell where one person ended and the other began. If there was, that word belonged to Akinli and me.The second thing was a bottle of water. It was so peculiar, this water, a blue that was both dark and brilliant, too thick to see through but still carrying light. No matter the season, it was always cold, and there were tiny shells in it that never settled.Sometimes I slept with it, even though it was cold enough to wake me up if I rolled on it the wrong way. It was the only clue I had to tell me who I had been before the night I was left on the porch, and I loved it second only to Akinli.Somehow, I knew that this love was important, as if treasuring the water meant I treasured myself. And I did. I loved my recovering body, I loved my blue-eyed soul mate, I loved my adopted family.I held the water to my chest, and I loved.

Elizabeth nodded, looking too dejected to do much more. __an she just go back to him?_ she pleaded. __e__ dying. She__ dying. They can__ have a life together, but at least they could have th

I got the groceries and lugged them all the way to Akinli__ dorm, running slightly behind because I couldn__ get into the building on my own. The university required ID cards to get into the dorms after six, and since I wasn__ an actual student, I had to wait for someone else to come along and scan his so I could piggyback in.__ou need some help?_ the boy asked, his eyes lingering on my mouth.I shook my head no.__ww, come on. That__ way too heavy for you.__e came closer, and again I cursed our natural appeal. I wasn__ in danger exactly, and I knew that, but it didn__ make these encounters any less uncomfortable. I shook my head again.__o, really, which floor are you on? I can____ey, Kahlen!_ I looked up to see Akinli walking down the hall. His button-up was open over the gray shirt beneath it, but I was thrilled to see that he__ at least put one on. __ was starting to worry. Hey, Sam.___ey._ The boy gave Akinli a look and headed toward the stairwell, his displeasure at Akinli__ arrival clear. In the meantime, I felt my mood lift significantly. I was now officially on my first date.

When we were in New York, you cried for two days and passed out. You said a word in your sleep, over and over. Akinli._ Elizabeth stared down at the drawing.__t first I thought it was gibberish. And then I thought it was the name of a town or a building. . . . I didn__ figure out it belonged to a person until you made that._ Elizabeth pointed down to the paper, worn from being folded and unfolded who knew how many times.__hen Elizabeth came to me, I had to tell her the truth, and we decided to find him. You gave us the name of the town. We went there looking for someone answering to that name, fitting this image._ Miaka smiled ruefully. __ery small town. It wasn__ hard.__ears pooled in my eyes. __ou__e really seen him?__hey both nodded. I thought about all those trips they had taken, making up ridiculous stories so they could get to him without me knowing.__ow is he?_ I asked, unable to contain my curiosity. __s he okay? Has he gone back to school? Is he still with Ben and Julie? Is he happy? Could you tell? Is he happy?__he questions tumbled out without me being able to hold them in. I was desperate to know. I felt a single word would put my soul at ease.Elizabeth swallowed hard. __hat__ the thing, Kahlen. We__e afraid he__ dying.

I cannot explain how two souls join. No man or element or god ever could. But you are tied to each other. Because of that__ecause of your true, consuming, pure love__ou will thrive together . . . or you will perish together.__ don__ understand._ I swallowed, trying to make sense of it all.If he hadn__ heard your voice, he__ be fine. But once he aged, however many years from now that might come, you would have found yourself deteriorating then. Or if you had disobeyed Me so fully that I had to kill you, he__ have died in the same breath. You are tied through your souls. Now, what happens to one body happens to the other. And since your voice has taken hold of him, killing him slowly, you fall down with him. Slower, of course, as you are still Mine. But it will consume you eventually, all the same.

They got under each of my shoulders and pulled me up, Padma walking in front of me and holding her arms out for good measure. I walked on my own, but I knew that if they hadn__ been there, I might have fallen more than once. Side by side, we marched into the Ocean, all of us crying for

Akinli, this strange boy whose life at the moment seemed to be hanging on this, pushed himself from the bed.Julie gasped, watching as his arms trembled under his weight, even as thin as he was. He crushed his eyes together in concentration, willing himself up.I heard Ben whisper to himself, __ome on, come on, come on.__hen Akinli, breathing as if he truly had just run a marathon, was fairly close to upright, he held out an arm for me.I fell into it fearlessly.We leaned into each other, neither of us strong enough to stay up on our own.__ thought I__ never see you sit up again,_ Julie cried.We both turned to her, smiling at the happy tears on her face.

I felt a warm hand touch my forehead. And then my cheek. I held my act steady though Akinli__ touch made me feel more than awake.__here in the world did you come from, you beautiful, silent girl?_ he whispered.