humor

I don__ even pretend to believe I know everything; I just believe in arguments God told me I had a pretty good chance of winning, while I was traveling through hell.

Never second guess yourself. Or do, maybe. Whatever you feel good about.

Never speak unless you can improve upon the stupidness of people's silence.

Some women are built by the fire. Yet, there are some that are the FIRE!

I don't mind people talking about me behind my back. It means they know me, and I'm out in front.

I don't get it. I'm sexually attractive to a remarkable degree-""And humble.""It's not bragging if it's true. And I'm his-which means, this is in the bag. Or should be.

He thinks himself rather an exceptional young man, thoroughly sophisticated, well adjusted to his environment, and somewhat more significant than any one else he knows.

In life we have our trophy people. These are the ones we work hard for, we are proud of. We want to show them off to our family, our friends, we want them on our arm at company functions. We take pictures with them to let everyone know we feel like a winner and we are happy.Then you have your participation ribbons, the ribbons you get just for simply showing up. You didn't have to earn it, it was just given to you. These things usually end up in a drawer somewhere, maybe you pick them up again when you are bored and say "that was a fun night, I wonder if they are still handing out these things?" but you don't tell people about it, nothing to be proud of.

He just wasn__ into flaunting his awesomeness, but sometimes a person__ awesomeness simply flaunts itself, even when you politely ask it not to.

Nothing builds confidence like live ammo.

At this point in my life, beaming confidence is largely a matter of mind over bladder control

Wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of the Midol.

Once past the comfort zone in either direction, humans soon lost the ability to discriminate bad from worse.

Why are we learning about the past, when this is History?

A woman without a past is like a fruitcake without brandy__nsipid!

That's when it hit me. I had to go through a lot of bad relationships first, but I'd finally found him. My very own Prince Charming. Turns out they do exist.Touché, Cinderella. Touché.

If you're stuck in the past, you go forward in reverse

I naively believe that self-love is 80 percent of the solution, that it helps beyond words to take yourself through the day as you would with your most beloved mental-patient relative, with great humor and lots of small treats.