fia

Clinical, brilliantly medical-minded Adam believes in fate. A fate with Fia.

I should curl up in a ball and cry. Instead i think about everything in the whole entire world that makes me angry - There is a lot, oh, there is a lot - and I start singing Justin Bieber at the top of my lungs.

Pretending is another way of lying, and I am so good at both.

I don__ want to think about things like normal and safe, things I can__ have.

I am a girl in want of complete destruction.

I think happy thoughts and feel happy things and I do not let myself near the swirling black edges of the hole that is my soul when I look at them.

I__l be fine. I__ always fine.

My bed is massive (I drown in it, and it doesn__ matter how big the bed is, my nightmares more than fill it)

I wash myself clean of guilt, of pain, of fear, of emotion. I am the ocean. I am empty. I am nothing.

I am so filled with wrong I don__ remember what right is.

Probably you should stay out of my head. It__ not a friendly place.

Crazy must run in your family,_ he says.__ou do know Fia!_ I blurt, then bite my lip.

I have to trust that, or I__l lose my mind. Well, lose it more.

You__e crazy,_ he hisses. __oo true.

Cole gets up and then says, __dam. Five texts. I can read them to you._ He pauses. __nless they__e personal._ I roll my eyes. __ot that it__ any of your business, but I__ pretty sure he__ desperately in love with my sister._ Cole snorts. __e__ crazy._ __e__ have to be, right?

Everyone here is insane. I am the insanest of the insane.

I__ still afraid to sleep__oo many ghosts peering creeping condemning.

Silly. Dark isn__ scary. Dark is safe.___hy?_ __ live in the dark all the time. But when it__ dark outside everyone has to be there, too. And if you can__ see someone, they can__ see you, either._ She sniffles a few times. __o, it__ like I__ hiding in the dark?___es. You__e the secret when it__ dark. Dark is safe.