counselling

I have said so many times to many people on the spiritual path, 'You must be strong in yourself to help others. People who are in the emotional sea need someone who can pull them out, not someone who gets in with them and gets dragged away by the tidal wave of human emotions. We have to become emotional lifeguards.

Accept corrections and you__l improve and increase.

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.

For far too long, the female gender has been plagued with stereotypes, typecasting, as well as, subtle and blatant discrimination.

It was regarded as almost outside the proper interest of an analyst to give systematic attention to a person's real experiences.

My job is to assist you in finding the answer that is right for you. Not the answer that would be right for me.

Psychotherapy and counselling should make people aware of themselves and of the difficulties which they face. This then gives them the freedom to choose for themselves. In this sense, unlike behaviour therapy, psychotherapy is value-free: no advice, suggestions or recriminations are given. Indeed the only value of psychotherapy is respect for the individual. Such respect, however, in a mechanistic and objectifying society ... becomes a political act.

I believe that even our most abstract and philosophical views spring from an intensely personal base.

For example, in order to identify these schemas or clarify faulty relational expectations, therapists working from an object relations, attachment, or cognitive behavioral framework often ask themselves (and their clients) questions like these: 1. What does the client tend to want from me or others? (For example, clients who repeatedly were ignored, dismissed, or even rejected might wish to be responded to emotionally, reached out to when they have a problem, or to be taken seriously when they express a concern.) 2. What does the client usually expect from others? (Different clients might expect others to diminish or compete with them, to take advantage and try to exploit them, or to admire and idealize them as special.) 3. What is the client__ experience of self in relationship to others? (For example, they might think of themselves as being unimportant or unwanted, burdensome to others, or responsible for handling everything.) 4. What are the emotional reactions that keep recurring? (In relationships, the client may repeatedly find himself feeling insecure or worried, self-conscious or ashamed, or__or those who have enjoyed better developmental experiences__erhaps confident and appreciated.) 5. As a result of these core beliefs, what are the client__ interpersonal strategies for coping with his relational problems? (Common strategies include seeking approval or trying to please others, complying and going along with what others want them to do, emotionally disengaging or physically withdrawing from others, or trying to dominate others through intimidation or control others via criticism and disapproval.) 6. Finally, what kind of reactions do these interpersonal styles tend to elicit from the therapist and others? (For example, when interacting together, others often may feel boredom, disinterest, or irritation; a press to rescue or take care of them in some way; or a helpless feeling that no matter how hard we try, whatever we do to help disappoints them and fails to meet their need.)

You must not give up in the middle of the journey. May you have grace to travel onward.

In a world where we seem to be beset by a trend towards 'manualising treatment modalities' the person-centred approach stands and says NO, that is not the way forward.

The role of Cherishing in Bereavement - I think that the key to healthy grieving is to cherish those who have passed on, so that you celebrate their lives and the times you did have together with thankfulness, instead of trying to cling on and wish that things were different. I believe that you should let them go in peace with love, not try to hang on to their spirits, just hold the precious moments gently in your heart.

Every sacred marriage will survive all times with great love and patient commitment.

Marriages can endure any difficulty with unfailing love and dedication.

In all spheres of life, we find the grace of patient endurance.

There is a perfect marriage. Any marriage counselor can tell you that.

With perseverance and endurance you can survive any storm.

The counsellor who never reads a novel or never opens a book of poetry is neglecting an important resource for empathic development.