control-issues

Are you able to open to the possibility that what you want is not what you need right now? If it was what you needed it would be in your life, right now, and it would come effortlessly.

When you react, you let other control you. When you respond, you are in control.

Controlling others is the cornerstone of dysfunctional families.

I want to give a name to my would-be killer. What should I call him? Something that will ease his presence in my mind, make him look foolish, like he is of no threat and never was, which is in fact the truth. I don't want his real name, which is meaningless to me, but instead something I control, something I own, some way to own that piano-idiot who attacked me.

You are in control of your life, when you refuse to be provoke.

What I find predictable is crazy people's ability to predict that unpredictable people can be predicted by their consistent unpredictable behavior, thus making all crazy people predictable when the world says they are unpredictable. Therefore, I must be __ight_ because I can predict crazy because I have been trained in the unpredictable nature of consistent craziness because I am crazy.

To be able to accept everything that comes our way, even the things we don__ want to accept, is the art of Love. However, this acceptance isn__ to become conformists or martyrs. The art of accepting has to do with surrendering the need for control; it__ ceasing the effort to regulate our environment and manipulate the human beings, as well as the other creatures, within it.__hen we give up our attachment to the outcome and rest our minds in a peaceful state, then we have a better chance to act free from the results. Such a state of surrender could be described as __ust be-ing_.__hatever happens is an indication that at some level we__e ready for it, or at least we__e got all the tools required in order to become ready, and face any problem or obstacle that may arise along this path.

Nothing you did could have changed anything. And that being angry and blaming yourself for not being able to control the past or the future is only going to hurt worse. If you keep thinking like this, you will only be re-inventing pain.Heaven would tell you that it__ just a little rain. And it__ not the rain that kills you, it__ the pain of wanting to control the sun.

I can't tell you how many times in my life I have been told that I have __ontrol issues_. Historically, this statement has brought me annoyance__he kind of irritation that can only be described as a self-protective reaction to having my behaviours labelled for exactly what they were. Needless to say, these accusations would make me defensive. I'd pull my armour tighter and get out my weapons__nything to protect myself from the truth.I realized, one day, that there were only a few things I could control, and a whole lot of things that I couldn't. I realized that trying to control everything around me was a recipe for failure, because it simply wasn't possible.I wish I could tell you that I "let go" then__hat it was a lovely, beautiful spiritual moment, and now I'm all better. But that isn't true. Because, for me, seeking to control things which can't be controlled isn't a random tick or flaw. It's a stage of communication in the language of my own mind. If I don't listen to the first whispers that tell me I've repressed some emotion or neglected to process some event__hen, stage two starts. Every piece of dirt on the floor, every chewing noise, every unexpected obstacle... they all become intolerable.So, I have two choices when this happens. I can allow my desire to control the outside world to turn into trying to control it. Or, I can allow myself to hear what is being said to me__o interpret this strange language that I speak to myself in and respond with compassion.Do I consistently do the wise thing first? No. I forget. And then I remember, somewhere in the middle of neurotically scrubbing a wall. But I remember faster now than I did before, and sometimes I really am able to respond quickly.It's a journey. I'm not perfect. But I am doing the right thing, and I get better at it every time I have the chance to practice. That's what learning and letting go really is__ practice. It's never over. And it never is, and never will be, perfect.