Maybe Jess was caught up with these ridiculous, impossible ideas because it meant she never had to try for something real.
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Jess is painfully aware of how young she is. Her shirtsleeves don't quite extend to her wrists; after a growth spurt last summer, her debate clothes don't fit as well as she thought. She feels as if she's playing dress-up.
The only time she's come close to being "known" was when she accidentally came out as bisexual during sophomore English class while talking about her favorite poem.