What does God want? Does God want goodness or the choice of goodness? Is a man who chooses the bad perhaps in some way better than a man who has the good imposed upon him?
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When we're healthy we respond to the presence of the hateful with fear and nausea.
The sweetest and most heavenly of activities partake in some measure of violence - the act of love, for instance; music, for instance. You must take your chance, boy. The choice has been all yours.
You have no cause to grumble boy. You made your choice and all this is a consequence of your choice. Whatever now ensues is what you yourself have chosen.
And yet, in a sense, in choosing to be deprived of the ability to make an ethical choice, you have in a sense really chosen the good.
And now, talking of praying, I realise sadly that there will be little point in praying for you. You are passing now to a region where you will be beyond the reach of the power of prayer.
You can viddy that everything in this wicked world counts. You can pony that one thing always leads to another. Right right right.
The intention to act violently is accompanied by strong feelings of physical distress.
The thrill of theft, of violence, the urge to live easy - is it worth it when we have undeniable proof, yes, yes, incontrovertible evidence that hell exists?
Well, everything's a lesson, isn't it? Learning all the time, as you could say.
You got shook and shook till there was nothing left. You lost your name and your body and your self and you just didn't care.