ambivalence

And I can't be running back and fourth forever between grief and high delight.

To love is to think.And I almost forget to feel only from thinking about her.I don__ know what I want at all, even from her, and I don__ think about anything but her.I have a great animated distraction.When I want to meet her,I almost feel like not meeting her,So I don__ have to leave her afterwards.And I prefer thinking about her, because it__ like I__ afraid of her.I don__ know what I want at all, and I don__ want to know what I want. All I want to do is think about her.I__ asking nothing of nobody, not even her, except to think.

In starlit nights I saw you,So cruelly you kissed me.Your lips a magic world,Your sky all hung with jewels.The killing moonWill come too

A pensive personality and ambivalent attitude towards power and money can cause other people to take a high production or creative person for granted.

The mental mist of ambiguity and the fog of ambivalence hamper human existence.

Before I go on with this short history, let me make a general observation_ the test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise. This philosophy fitted on to my early adult life, when I saw the improbable, the implausible, often the "impossible," come true.

There may be hostility and ambivalence, there may even be no responses and those are the worst because it means people do not care. Yet all of these are part of the parcel of land that we call human experience and spirituality. The deep lows and pinnacled heights as well as the wonderful things in what one priest called the lowlands of mundania. This book is not for you if you are looking for hatred on atheists, religionists or just looking for reasons to justify yourself.

There she was, the mother of me, like a lit plinth,Heavenly, though I was reared to find this kind Of visitation impractical; she was an unbearable detailOf the supreme celestial map,Of which I had been taught that there wasNo such thing.

I slide to my knees and say, "Please let this be over." Then, I'm not ready for it to be over.

Author says he suffered from both "a craving to be famous" and "a horror of being known to like being known.

What am I doing? Tearing myself. My usual occupation at most times.

Don Bradman will bat no more against England, and two contrary feelings dispute within us: relief, that our bowlers will no longer be oppressed by this phenomenon; regret, that a miracle has been removed from among us. So must ancient Italy have felt when she heard of the death of Hannibal.

He had to pause for his usual misgivings.

In these times I don't, in a manner of speaking, know what I want; perhaps I don't want what I know and want what I don't know.

In starlit nights I saw you,So cruelly you kissed me.Your lips a magic world,Your sky all hung with jewels.The killing moonWill come too soon.

The brevity of our lives breeds a kind of temporal parochialism__n ignorance of or an indifference to those planetary gears which turn more slowly than our own.

Dad scowls. "Phen." He says the name like it's a swear word. "Disgusting, cowardly creatures, the ambivalent. Worse than the fallen, in many ways." His eyes are so fierce it's a tad scary. "They have no conviction at all.