amanda

I can__ help but think that if she was going to kill herself, she might as well have done it earlier. Perhaps when I was a toddler. Or better yet, an infant. It certainly would have made my life easier. I asked my uncle Hugh (who is not really my uncle, but he is married to the stepsister of my current mother__ brother__ wife and he lives quite closeand he__ a vicar) if I would be going to hell for such a thought. He said no, that frankly, it made a lot of sense to him. I do think I prefer his parish to my own.

Amanda had way too much time to think being at the hospital without any friends. She didn__ want to dwell on her thoughts for too long lest the wrong ones might emerge. She was hoping to forget what happened to her.

For a while she cried silently until she tired herself out and the overwhelming feeling of sleepiness overcame her. The room around her was fairly silent, although she wasn__ the only one crying herself to sleep. It was quite common at places like this to hear cries in the dark. There were so many saddened and lonesome souls around her. It was usually at night when they were reminded of just how sad and lonely they actually were.

If you find it difficult to get along with your boss, try to reason with him and talk through your differences. If that doesn't work, drive him to suicide and take over the company.

By the time she awoke she couldn__ even remember if she had a dream or a nightmare. There had only been a deathlike peace.

There__ one last reason why none of us ever tries to escape. There are a few of us who just don__ have anywhere else to go.

She thought of the things that lovely young women usually think about when they are relaxing in treetops and unhampered by underwear.

By dinnertime, Amanda had managed to pick off all of her red nail polish purely out of habit. She was disappointed and silently cursed at herself when she remembered not having anymore to put on. She stared at her fingernails for about twenty minutes for lack of something better to do.

Also I could hear Amanda__ voice: Why are you being so weak? Love__ never a fair trade. So Jimmy__ tired of you, so what, there__ guys all over the place like germs, and you can pick them like flowers and toss them away when they__e wilted. But you have to act like you__e having a spectacular time and every day__ a party.

We just wanted to see whose dick was in yer mouth. Call it curiosity.

Although the surface of our planet is two-thirds water, we call it the Earth. We say we are earthlings, not waterlings. Our blood is closer to seawater than our bones to soil, but that's no matter. The sea is the cradle we all rocked out of, but it's to dust that we go. From the time that water invented us, we began to seek out dirt. The further we separate ourselves from the dirt, the further we separate ourselves from ourselves. Alienation is a disease of the unsoiled.

Now to tell ya about our fellow inmates. Pay attention because there are a bunch of us an_ we each have a story.