Mark nodded even though she couldn't see. He'd suddenly lost any desire to talk, and his plans for a perfect day washed away with the stream. The memories. They never let him go, not even for a half hour. They always had to rush back in, bringing all the horror.
...everything is gone except traces of you inside me - and the years like the wind are sweeping those away ...
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...everything is gone except traces of you inside me - and the years like the wind are sweeping those away ...
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He felt more crypts cracking open inside of him; the stench he smelled was not decayed bodies but decayed memories, and that was somehow worse.
When she had died, his anchor was gone and the world had burned from his untethered insanity.
and I told myself -- as I've told myself before -- that the body shuts down then the pain gets too bad, that consciousness is temporary, that this will pass. But just like always, I didn't slip away. I was left on the shore with the waves washing over me, unable to drown.
The higher consciousness are the ones who get the most pain.
There's no consciousness without senses and memories.