Is is as if life or reality itself has had it in mind all along to unravel the very design i have been trying all along to impose on it.
At that moment my shyness and anxiety all flooded back and I took a few steps back, and then sank to the ground; crouching, overwhelmed, covering my face. __hat will he think? What if he already hates me? Maybe I was wrong in the first place? Maybe he didn__ like me at all._ No matter how much I tried, I wasn__ able to produce a single positive thought to counter my panic. I wasn__ able to take a deep breath and relax. This day had been too eventful. I began to shake furiously, afraid of what was to come. __e hates me! He hates me!_ I thought over and over. Hot tears began to fall down my cheeks and I squeezed my eyes trying to stop them. My breathing quickened. What was I doing? I had said what I wanted, proudly, trying to be something to him but here I was: a total mess.__hat kind of a confession ends in a panic attack? GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!_ I thought furiously, my efforts rewarded with futility. The world started to spin, my mouth becoming numb for reasons I couldn__ understand, almost as if to prevent me from panicking aloud. As if I had the friggin_ courage.
What if we're faeries?
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At that moment my shyness and anxiety all flooded back and I took a few steps back, and then sank to the ground; crouching, overwhelmed, covering my face. __hat will he think? What if he already hates me? Maybe I was wrong in the first place? Maybe he didn__ like me at all._ No matter how much I tried, I wasn__ able to produce a single positive thought to counter my panic. I wasn__ able to take a deep breath and relax. This day had been too eventful. I began to shake furiously, afraid of what was to come. __e hates me! He hates me!_ I thought over and over. Hot tears began to fall down my cheeks and I squeezed my eyes trying to stop them. My breathing quickened. What was I doing? I had said what I wanted, proudly, trying to be something to him but here I was: a total mess.__hat kind of a confession ends in a panic attack? GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!_ I thought furiously, my efforts rewarded with futility. The world started to spin, my mouth becoming numb for reasons I couldn__ understand, almost as if to prevent me from panicking aloud. As if I had the friggin_ courage.
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Now, however open a person manages to be, there is one possibility to which he remains as closed as ever: the possibility that when he uncovers his deepest anxieties he will find hidden inside them certain horrifying truths which his whole effort to control his life has been designed to keep repressed.
When we operate on the basis of the will to control, we are aware of only one kind of "evil": the failure of existence to conform to the plan we have for it.
Every danger loses some of its terror once its causes are understood.
What we work so hard to avoid is the shattering of our lives by horrors we know we will be helpless to control.
An uncertain evil causes anxiety because, at the bottom of one's heart, one goes on hoping till the last moment that it may not be true; a certain evil, on the other hand, instills, for a time, a kind of dreary tranquillity.