The ghosts that exert the most power in people__ lives-at least, the people I know__end to be of their own making, and consist of equal parts regret and old fears and just plain missing somebody.
Jesse stirs again. This time his fingers twitch. As much as I want to see him open his eyes, I can__ be here for that. It__l make leaving him too hard. I turn toward the doorway and I__ outside in the main room of the ICU when I hear his weakened voice say, __inter?__ hurry back to the waiting area. Hopefully he__l think he dreamed me. Maybe he did. Sometimes I feel like I__ not even real anymore
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Jesse stirs again. This time his fingers twitch. As much as I want to see him open his eyes, I can__ be here for that. It__l make leaving him too hard. I turn toward the doorway and I__ outside in the main room of the ICU when I hear his weakened voice say, __inter?__ hurry back to the waiting area. Hopefully he__l think he dreamed me. Maybe he did. Sometimes I feel like I__ not even real anymore
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This isn__ how things were supposed to happen. I was supposed to be me. Not this.
and I told myself -- as I've told myself before -- that the body shuts down then the pain gets too bad, that consciousness is temporary, that this will pass. But just like always, I didn't slip away. I was left on the shore with the waves washing over me, unable to drown.
The higher consciousness are the ones who get the most pain.
I will be conveyed to an Emergency Room of some kind, where I will be detained as long as I do not respond to questions, and then, when I do respond to questions, I will be sedated; so it will be an inversion of standard travel, the ambulance and ER: I'll make the journey first, then depart.
It__ that short-lived happiness, which empowers us to bear; long-lasting pain in living.