Wilson Mizner

All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.

The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.

To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.

It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.

Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.

The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.

Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.

I've had several years in Hollywood and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.

God help those who do not help themselves.

A good listener is not only popular everywhere but after a while he knows something.

The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

I respect faith but doubt is what gets you an education.