Vee Hoffman

It wasn__ closure, really. But I__ said the right things. I__ hit on some truths. Maybe some things didn__ get closure. Maybe some things weren__ really worth it, or didn__ really need it, and after a while the unimportance would become obvious.

Sobriety had happened at a strange time in my sex life, and maybe I wouldn__ have held onto it had it not been for both of the men involved in the transition. But sobriety made me realize, in lonely moments and long introspective jags, that while sex wasn__ the only thing that I was good at, it was still something I enjoyed. The difference was choosing the people I invited to the playground, so to speak. If Eren had been any less fired up than he was, pushing firmly and slowly into me, watching my face for silent cues while I pushed my head back into the bed, stretching my neck and growling, reacquainting myself with the feeling of being filled, it wouldn__ have been right.But it was right. I__ chosen well. I almost laughed when he was completely inside of me and I got swept up in the truth of the matter, the reasonably overwhelming knowledge that yeah, this was something I might not fuck up. And god, I loved sex. God, I loved not having to feel like I was hiding inside of its fortress.

I tried for a decade not to feel anything,_ I said. I didn__ wipe away the tear that broke free. He__ already seen me cry. Erwin had seen me in literally every humor except perfectly happy. I had nothing to hide. __hy are you making this happen?__e leaned in and we opened the space between ourselves once more just so he could kiss the tear away from my cheek. You sonofabitch, I mouthed but did not say.__re you sure it__ all me?

Just remember something, okay? And this is neither here nor there but it__ something I really want you to know. Not that I think you have much trouble with this, but let__ be clear: you don__ owe your parents anything if they don__ respect you. That__ bullshit, to be taught that just because they created you and made sure you didn__ roll over in your crib and die, you owe them anything. So what I__ saying is use him. Use him if you can, if he lets you. But then don__ think you ever have to look back if he doesn__ respect you.