Susan C. Young

Be aware, putting on a poker face can backfire during your first impressions because it can make people uncomfortable and make you more difficult to read and harder to get to know.

Poise: a graceful and elegant bearing in person; a composure of dignity and manner.Postures: the position of a person__ body when standing, sitting, or walking; carriage, bearing, and stance.Gestures: moving parts of your body to express an idea, opinion, emotion, or meaning.__oise confirms purpose. Postures portray personality. Gestures express emotions. Your poise, postures, and gestures make a powerful statement about who you are and how you feel about yourself. This dynamic trio speaks volumes about you.

Approachability is a crucial way of being that empowers you with an extraordinary edge to make a great first impression, invite interaction, build rapport, and win friends.

ASK YOURSELF: Do you appear self-confident or unsure? Do you project a calm demeanor or scream instability? Do you come across as a leader or try to stay invisible? Do you walk with purpose and intention or doubt and trepidation? Do you look vibrant and energetic, or stressed out and overwhelmed?

According to the __niversality studies_ conducted by psychologists Paul Ekman, Carroll Izard, and Friesen (1969-1972), the words Happiness. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Contempt. Surprise. Disgust.describe the natural expressions of emotion shared by the entire human race.

Coordinating your gestures with someone__ subtle behaviors, can help you gain understanding, realize comfortable compatibility, and develop mutual trust.

How do you enter a room? How do you walk into a job interview? How do you approach a sales prospect for the first time? Accomplished leaders know that the way they make an entrance can project their confidence and set the tone for their interaction with others. Use your poise, postures, and gestures to make it grand.

Being Nice Has Its Limitations. While you will certainly attract more bees with honey, there are times when being nice can backfire. Take it from a naturally kind person, being a __itch_ has its time and place. There will be times when you must engage with mean, rude, and inconsiderate people.

I am a very lucky lady that my life partner, Daniel, is a true-blue Southern gentleman. Watching him in action not only earns my love and respect, but it also strengthens his countenance and bolsters his reputation as a man. As a health care provider, he treats numerous patients who are elderly or in pain. Daniel has made it a customary ritual while people are in his care to help them with their coats, provide a stabilizing arm, carry the ladies_ purses, and even walk patients out to their cars. While this kindness provides extraordinary customer service, it also demonstrates that small acts of chivalry can make a significant impact on one__ reputation, first impression, and overall human-beingness.

It__ not bravery unless you are doing something which causes you to feel afraid. Unless there is some degree of fear or apprehension involved, bravery is not even needed.

It is unimpressive to not return what__ been borrowed. Whether you have borrowed money, folding chairs, yard tools, or a popular book, always make sure you return to another person what is rightfully theirs. Lending it to you in the first place was a gift of trust and assistance. Being slow to give back in return may be considered rude.

Being brave requires taking deliberate action and doing something new that stretches you beyond your comfort zone.

Confession. Years ago, I was invited to a cocktail party for an Asian-American networking group. As I introduced myself to a Japanese businessman, I reached out and firmly shook his hand. Much to my embarrassment now, I automatically took my other hand and wrapped our hands in a __and hug._ This is a common gesture of friendship in the South. As his wife approached, however, she appeared appalled and felt disrespected that I was touching her husband. Our cultural differences were marked. Despite this cultural mishap, I was able to redeem myself. We all moved past it and delighted in an interesting conversation. Physical touch is a touchy topic (pun intended), especially when various cultures are involved.

In the hit movie, __ay It Forward,_ a middle school child dreams of how he can change the world by being the catalyst for kindness. He begins his __ocial experiment_ by performing a selfless act of kindness, and so begins the domino effect. As each consecutive person receives an act of kindness they, in turn, do something nice for another. The kindness becomes contagious and changes hundreds of lives for the better. Think of the global impact we could make if more people would make it their mission to simply pay if forward by BEING NICE.

Take the initiative with deliberate steps to be a polite person:1. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.2. Reciprocate a thoughtful word or a good deed in kind.3. Say "excuse me" when you bump into someone, unintentionally violate someone__ space, or need to get someone__ attention.4. Apologize when you__e made a mistake or are in the wrong.5. Live by the "Golden Rule" and treat others the way you would like to be treated.6. When dining at home or in a restaurant, wait until everyone is served before eating your meal.7. Acknowledge notable events like birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries.8. Reply to invitations, regardless of whether you will be able to attend. 9. Acknowledge and show gratitude for gifts and gestures of hospitality.10. Put things back where they belong. Leave the world a better place than how you found it.

To cultivate bravery and courage, try something new for the first time. Take a chance. Stretch beyond your familiar limits by taking risks that move you out of your old mindset and into a new perspective. Once accomplished, trying something new bolsters your confidence and boosts your ability to be brave.

Every one of us, at some time or another, has allowed fear to prevent us from living our best possible life. The first step in conquering our fears is to identify and confront them. Among the most common are:_ Failure_ Success_ Being rejected_ Looking stupid_ Financial insecurity_ Falling on your face_ Being vulnerable_ Appearing weak or unhealthy_ Exposing your secrets_ Being alone or unloved_ Upsetting the status quo_ Disappointing others

Social orientation can be used to your advantage to make a great first impression; however, it can also backfire when we violate the boundaries of someone else__ personal space. Awareness of space, orientation, and proximity is a powerful tool for your relationship toolbox.