Simone Elkeles

I'll never let it happen. I'll do everything in my power to keep my sister at home."I don't want to have a civilized discussion. My parents want to send my sister to a facility behind my back and my head feels like it's about to split open. Leave me alone, okay?"Something is sticking out of my pocket. It's Alex's bandanna. Isabel isn't a friend, yet she helped me. And Alex, a boy who cared about me last night more than my own boyfriend did, acted as my hero and is urging me to be real. Do I even know how to be real?I clutch the bandanna to my chest.And I allow myself to cry.

Snakes don't have fuckin' legs, so how was I supposed to think there'd be one hidin' in the face of a damn rock that's ten feet below the summit?

She's a Texan, born and raised. Football is in our blood.

You're stressing too much about what might be. Do something to take your mind off thinking about what might never happen.

Let's have a bet, then. If I'm right, you kiss me," he says."And if I'm right?""Name it."It's like taking candy from a baby. Mr. Macho Guy's ego is about to be taken down a notch, and I'm all too happy to be the one to do it. "If I win you take me and the class project seriously," I tell him. "No teasing me, no making ridiculous comments.""Deal. I'd feel terrible if I didn't tell you I have a photographic memory.""Alex, I'd feel terrible if I didn't tell you I copied the info straight from the book." I look at the research I'd done, then flip open to the corresponding page in my chem book. "Without looking, what does it need to be cooled at?" I ask.Alex is a guy who thrives on challenges. But this time the tough guy is going to lose. He closes his own book and stares at me, his jaw set. "Twenty degrees. And it needs to be dissolved at one hundred degrees, not seventy," he answers confidently.I scan the page, then my notes. Then back at the page again. I can't be wrong. Which page did I- "Oh, yeah. One hundred degrees." I look up at him in complete shock. "You're right.""You gonna kiss me now, or later?""Right now," I say, which I can tell shocks him because his hands go still. At home, my life is dictated by my mom and dad. At school, it's different. I need to keep it that way, because if I have no control in every aspect of my life I might as well be a mannequin."Really?" he asks."Yeah." I take one of his hands in mine. I'd never be this bold if we had an audience, and am thankful for the privacy of the nonfiction titles surrounding us. His breathing slows as I sit up on my knees and lean into him. I'm ignoring the fact that his fingers are long and rough and that I've never actually touched him before. I'm nervous. I shouldn't be, though. I'm the one in control this time.I can feel him restraining himself. He's letting me make the move, which is a good thing. I'm afraid of what this boy would do if he let loose.I place his hand against my cheek so it cups my face and I hear him groan. I want to smile because his reaction proves I have the power.He's unmoving as our eyes meet.Time stops again.Then I turn my head into his hand and kiss the inside of his palm."There, I kissed you," I say, giving him back his hand and ending the game.Mr. Latino with the big ego got bested by a ditzy, blond bimbo.

The urge to jump into his arms and feel the warmth of them surrounding me is so powerful, I wonder if it's medically possible to be addicted to another human being.

Why shouldn't I be introspective? We dont' make sense.""Neither do Chocolate and Peanut Butter, but it somehow works." He says "Somehow the mixture of two things is genius.

Do you think about making love with me?"I lie awake most nights, fantasizing about sleeping next to her ... loving her. "Right now, muneca, makin' love to you is the only thing on my mind.

Want some?" he asks, pointing to his dinner.Maybe eating will calm my nerves. "What i

You are the one girl that made me risk eveything for a future worth having.

Are you going to dance with me tonight?" I ask."Hell, yeah.""Colin never wanted to dance with me.""I'm not Colin, querida, and never will be.""Good. I've got you, Alex. I realize it's all I need and I'm ready to share it with the world."Inside the club, Alex immediately heads for the dance floor with me. I ignore the gawking stares from Fairfield students from my side of town as I pull Alex close to me and we move as one to the beat.We move together as if we've been a couple forever, every movement in sync with each other. For the first time I'm not afraid of what people think of me and Alex together. Next year, in college, it won't matter who came from what side of town.

I wish I could help you" I whisper.You are," he murmurs against my knee. "just dont leave me, okay? Everyone leaves me.

I lead Paco through the house. We pass Shelley in the family room looking at some magazine. "Shelley, this is Paco. He's Alex's friend. Paco, this is my sister, Shelley."At the mention of Alex's name, Shelley gives a happy squeal."Hey, Shelley," Paco says.Shelley smiles wide."Shell-bell, I need you to do me a favor." Shelley bobs her head in response as I whisper, "I need you to keep Mom occupied while I talk to Paco."Shelley grins, and I know my sister will come through for me.

When she wraps her arms around my neck, all I want to do is protect this girl for the rest of my life.

She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven__ done in years_ barnyard sounds.

Is that your cheap way of telling me you want to kiss

You were lookin_ at me like you wanted to kiss me.__ force a laugh. __eah, right,_ I say sarcastically.__obody__ watchin_ if you want to, you know, try it. Not to brag, but I__ somewhat of an expert.

I__ not going anywhere until you hear me out.__h, please no. Anything except having to listen to her lecture. I push the button that calls the