Sharon Salzberg

Anger often makes us hurt ourselves more than any enemy.

If we look at the force of anger, we can, in fact, discover many positive aspects in it. Anger is not a passive, complacent state. It has incredible energy. Anger can impel us to let go of ways we may be inappropriately defined by the needs of others; it can teach us to say no. In this way it also serves our integrity, because anger can motivate us to turn from the demands of the outer world to the nascent voice of our inner world. It is a way to set boundaries and to challenge injustice at every level. Anger will not take things for granted or simply accept them mindlessly.Anger also has the ability to cut through surface appearances; it does not just stay on a superficial level. It is very critical; it is very demanding. Anger has the power to pierce through the obvious to things that are more hidden. This is why anger may be transmuted to wisdom. By nature, anger has characteristics in common with wisdom.Nevertheless, the unskillful aspects of anger are immense, and they far outweigh the positive aspects.

The difference between a life laced through with frustration and one sustained by happiness depends on whether it is motivated by self-hatred or by real love for oneself.

The more we practice sympathetic joy, the more we come to realize that the happiness we share with others is inseparable from our own happiness.

It is awareness of both our shared pain and our longing for happiness that links us to other people and helps us to turn toward them with compassion.

The more we identify and acknowledge moments when we__e unable to share in someone else__ pleasure and ask ourselves whether another person__ happiness truly jeopardizes our own, the more we pave the way for experiencing sympathetic joy

Buddhism has a term for the happiness we feel at someone else__ success or good fortune. Sympathetic joy, as it is known, invites us to celebrate for others.

Sometimes people in abusive situations think they__e responsible for the other person__ happiness or that they__e going to fix them and make them feel better. The practice of equanimity teaches that it__ not all up to you to make someone else happy.

Even as we recognize our resentment, bitterness, or jealousy, we can also honor our own wish to be happy, to feel free.

The practice of sympathetic joy is rooted in inner development. It__ not a matter of learning techniques to __ake friends and influence people._ Instead, we build the foundations of our own happiness. When our own cup is full, we more easily share it with others.

Consider how the sky is unharmed by the clouds that pass through it, whether they are light and fluffy-looking or dark and formidable. A mountain is not moved by the winds blowing over it, whether gentle or fierce. The ocean is not destroyed by the waves moving on its surface, whether high or low. In just that way, no matter what we experience, some aspect of ourselves remains unharmed. This is the innate happiness of awareness.