S. L. Clemens

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence and then Success is sure.

He is now fast rising from affluence to poverty.

It were not best that we should all think alike it is difference of opinion that makes horseraces.

Modesty died when false modesty was born.

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.

Get your facts first and then you can distort 'em as much as you please.

The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance stupidity and perjury.

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.

This poor little one-horse town.

Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething.