Liz Jensen

Men let women down. Over and over again. I'ts what they're programmed to do.

Will it take the rest of my life to process what has happened? I don't know.If Freddy were here, he would say, 'Yet', as per the rules of a playful accord we have concerning unacquired knowledge, whereby if one of us said they didn't know something, the other had to say 'Yet'. And then the other one--usually me--would provide the missing information, or we'd look it up, or just speculate.

Lord, What a terrible shame. You're so attractive!'I know, I want to tell her. It should have happened to someone really ugly. And then it wouldn't have mattered.

Hangovers are a vivid form of vengeance. Last night my apartment became the venue for a small, introverted chardonnay festival. A melancholy choir of Bulgarians provided the entertainment, via a set of headphones that ended up irredeemably tangled beneath the bed. Part of me just watched. The other part was in charge.