Jolene Perry

When you have a hard day or when I see you slipping backward, I'm desperate to stop it, to make you see how amazing you are, to help you know that you have so much to look forward to. The things that happened to you won't haunt you forever.""But I'll remember them forever." I know there's no forgetting and I'm still not sure what to do with that. He sucks in a breath. "But they'll hurt less."I don't have to look at him to know there are tears on his face.

How do I tell her that all I want to do is roll around on my bed?

And it's true what I read about joy. It's the kind of happiness that not only fills you up but spills over. Really, all you have to do is look for it, and then have the strength to let it in. And believe it or not, that's the hardest part.

Something like another wave of despair crashes into me. "I'm so heavy." I blink and a tear slides down my cheek."Then you lean on us for a while. Let us carry you, Joy, until you're not heavy anymore. That's what family is.

Do you feel safe there?"Immediately tears come down my face. "Yes.""Why does that make you cry?

My shower doesn't make everything go away. The world doesn't feel like a bigger, brighter place because my hair smells like coconuts.

How can something as simple as a look make me feel so much?

People don't want the truth when they ask how you're doing after you lost your brother.

A thin, polished woman walks in. She sticks out immediately in her expensive looking navy dress, shiny bag and shoes that probably cost more than I make in a month. My breath leaves me when I see that her arm is draped around a younger version of herself. That hair, it's pulled back way too tight now, but I'd run my hands through it a thousand times before. That face, now in layer of makeup that makes her look older than I remember, I'd held it in my calloused hands and kissed those lips goodbye over a year ago. She said she'd never see me again and I learned to accept that. She destroyed me, and I'd moved on.No. Not her. She's not from here anymore. I don't know who that person is anymore.

My heart's cracking apart all over again because of the way I've missed him.

He taught me to fight, to defend myself, to stand up for what I believe in, and protect people I love. I thanked him for that lesson after that weekend in New Orleans when some guy put his hands on Delia, and I had to tear him apart.