Jen Kirkman

Couples without kids have each other, their friends, families, and Siri to talk to. It's not like they're quarantining themselves in an underground bunker, never to take a romantic stroll on the beach or attend a Morrissey concert ever again. They're just using birth control.

Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.

I have this idyllic love life, but my mind just won't accept that. I would like to bring a new guy home every night. I try to make humor out of that situation.

I actually like, love, and respect myself, and I try not to take anything too seriously.

Invalidating a woman__ life choices by saying things like, __h, but you__l regret it if you don__ have kids,_ or, __ didn__ think I wanted kids either until I had one,_ is like me going to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and telling the newly sober that eventually when they grow old, they__l want to take the edge off with a little gin and tonic and that if they could only just be mature enough to control themselves, they could go on a fun wine-tasting tour in the Napa Valley.

If you put any effort into anything you do and have a strong sense of self to the point where you don__ even question your choices before you walk out of the house_ you__e a fucking weirdo.

I had no idea that marriage was only supposed to be between two people who wanted to get between the sheets and make more people. What ever happened to marrying for love_ or to get on your partner__ health insurance policy, or for presents? No one was going to buy two people in their thirties a four-slice toaster if we just continued to live in sin.

I finally understand that it__ okay to be a little afraid of things but that obsessing over them does not mean you have any more control over what you fear.