Jay London

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

I saw a stationery store move.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.