Irvin S. Cobb

As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid.

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.

If a woman likes another woman she's cordial. If she doesn't like her she's very cordial.

A good storyteller is a person who has a good memory and hopes other people haven't.

I've just learned about his illness let's hope it's nothing trivial.

Daylight would have shown a wilderness weathered and blowzy, a wanton that had lived her summer too fast and too greedily. It would have shown the white birches pale and shivering in a sudden ague, and here and there an ash or a sumac burning red, like a hectic spot, where the first frosts already had set the marks of their galloping consumption on the cheek of the forest, giving warning of the time when the white plague of the winter would make a massacre of all this present glory and turn the trees to naked skeletons and stretch a bony bare cadaver on every steeper hillside to bleach there until the snows covered things up. But now the kindly nighttime had all signs and threats of approaching death, so that each shriveled speckled leaf, as revealed and traced in the waning light, seemed flawless _ a perfect part of a perfect tapestry.